wake up kicking and screaming

The song currently playing in my head is Switchfoot's Awakening, where the bridge resounds :
I want to wake up kicking and screaming
I want to know that my heart's still beating
It's beating,I'm bleeding
I want to wake up kicking and screaming
I want to live like I know what I'm leaving
I want to know that my heart's still beating
It's beating... it's beating...
I'm bleeding

Yup, it's 6.00am in Malaysia, 8 hours ahead of Greenwich Mean Time and Coordinated Universal Time. Thus, the term 'UTC+8'. I thought for a bit, of how to put that phrase into existence, and thanks to Wikipedia, I've got it. All these stuff I learned in elementary geography has long eroded since I took up engineering.
I've decided, I don't just want to blog, I want to write. Ok, that didn't sound too differentiated. Anyways, I'm giving a shot at what people call 'creative writing'. (note to self: an English teacher's definition of 'creative writing' might differ from my definition)

I can't believe I spent the last 24 minutes going on about the last paragraph. Where was I? Yes, 6.00am in Malaysia, and ...Switchfoot. I should still be in bed, but someone must have turned on 'waking life' a wee bit early today. Sucks for me.

Back to the part about waking up kicking and screaming and bleeding. I don't mean the kind when you jolt awake from a nightmare. This is more, remembering that I'm alive. And you wake up to the fact,'I'M ALIVE!'. I like the verse of John Rzeznik's Iris, where you bleed just to know you're alive.

Sometimes, Life gets too 'routined' and 'schedueled', like a bus-route plan of Melaka. (alright, Melaka has probably evolved since I left it 7 years ago, but back then, the buses were always late, and you know it would be late)
Everyday, I hit the snooze button, for the longest 5 times, before I drag myself out of bed and into the washroom. This is followed by a series of self-care and basic-maintenance and then, to the shirt and tie and looking sharp bit. Yeah, and also the hair-do. Finally, with a dash of 'toilet water', I'm out the door to join the multitudes of 'bread winners', to go get me my dough, if you get what I mean. And almost as surely, the phenomenon called the 'jam' occurs, leaving me stuck in traffic for 30 minutes, just to get out of my housing area. Ridiculous!

That's roughly the idea. It happens everyday. And before long, you become part of a system. Anything new that takes place, sooner or later, becomes a system. You don't realize it, you just get sucked into it.

I've been thinking about Life a whole lot more these days. I know this human shell is fast decaying and the average life-span is 70 years, to be optimistic. But that's average. What's the big deal about living an average life? 70 years is, but a blink, compared to the millenniums that have been.

I'd rather live a short, impactful and fulfilling life, than a boring, monotonous, routine, long, over-dued life. That said, I hope He didn't put a check-mark on my name in His books for 'coming home soon'. What is 'soon' to Him anyway? Time, to Him is irrelevant. That will be another topic of discussion. If I could have it my way, I would want a LONG, and fulfilling life. I don't want to die young. I want to die finished, knowing I did everything I could possibly have done. Knowing I did everything I was meant to do.

Life is indeed fragile. One accident, and 'poof', there goes your 'fire' in the 'tribal council'. I shall leave that for another day. The sun is up, and I have to make my way home to Beloved Melaka.

To my Muslim friends out there, 'Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri'. Save me some rendang, I'm coming over!

I still want to wake up, kicking and screaming. As if, living for the first time!