Sunday, November 27, 2005


itting here in my room....after 8 days straight of working....just to compensate for National Conference (NC). Prior to that, I had a 9 day spree of work as well. Really exhausting. I got so much to say, but the sappy connection here is killing my ideas....while I wait for anything to load. So much for broadband. The only thing that's getting broad is my patience.

NC is about a day away from now. I waited for this for so long. Now, it's here already. I still have yet to pack. But I'm too sluggish to get a move on. I'm so excited for it, yet afraid. I don't know why.

I'm so looking forward to it...if only I could start packing

This is the phrase that speaks about me right now. It has a double meaning. For one, it speaks about my preparedness for NC. I'm so ready and wanting to go. But I have yet to start packing. On the other hand, it speaks about my life. I'm so wanting to dive into Life and see what treasures it holds for me. But I've got some open baggages that needs to be packed up. And get going.
The picture: A man with a shirt and tie on, still wearing his boxers and socks, fumbling with his trousers and a bag with clothes spilling everywhere at his feet. And people are just walking on by.....

I shud get going. Work really sucks the life out of you.
To those who are feeling the pinch of life's reality now, I hope you understand that you're not alone. So don't be arrogant to think you're the only person going through shit. Other's have gone through much worse, while you sat there thinking what the crap is wrong with these people...why can't they just move on and get on with life. I hope the next time the words 'Move on' is said, it's said out of love rather than irritated ignorance.

A few things keep me sane. And it's my tortoises. I don't know why, but the simplicity of their lives gives me hope that if God could give these creatures peace, He can give me peace too. I got another one as well, a present from my family. Will post pictures soon.

Good night world.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

I lost count

DAY 30 something

It's a Saturday, and I'm working. That's the nature of my job. Can't really complain. However, what i learn from this working experience is that, when you are working, time really flies.

The last entry about work was Day 11. Now, I've already lost count. Today is the 19th of November. 2 days ago, on the 17th, is one month of my working here. 1 MONTH!!!! just like that.....

Before I started my training, I told myself that since I'm not going to be studying, I wanted to do this and that. And being in a working environment, I tought I could pull off some of the stuff. Unfortunately, the days pass by so quickly, and it's already a month. I only manage to do some of the things I wanted to within that time. Quite disappointing.

Work really saps the life out of you. For me, I have to work 9 hours a day. And after a long days's work with only and hour break in between, I'm so beat-up I just feel like a zombie.Unlike some of my counter-parts in other companies, I don't have the luxury of 'lepaking' in the office everyday. I wish I had time to surf around and chit chat in the office. But in here, it's a factory....data factory. We work from the moment we get in till we sign off. Of coz there are laughters and jokes in between....which is crucial for our sanity, but there is no time for us to sit idle and do our own thing.

When I get back from work, I tell myself I wanna pick up my guitar, or maybe write a new song, or catch up with old friends, or just doing something important. But all I do when I step into my room is to unwind and let go. It's either watch a movie or play a game. By the time it's over, it's time to sleep. That's the life. Routine and mundane. I'm so thankful for people around. At least I get to have dinner with some of the juniors and remaining trainees. It keeps me connected. Otherwise, it'll just be me and the world.

Now I understand why some people just lose passion for living and life once they start working. They get caught up in the rat-race. I really hope I don't have to face that.........

work beckons.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


at work now....jsut got this phrase...no where to save...so save here

we disect the conversation
wishing we knew the truth
later we regret
wishing in bliss for the ignorance
the chance when we could have
avoided the bitter truth
tasting sweet lies instead
how twisted we become
when love does not fill the void

Thursday, November 03, 2005

DAY 11

DAY 11

I've been wanting to have a day-to-day update of my working experience,but I've been surprisingly caught up with loads of work and other events.

I can't say I'm so caught up with work...but I can't seem to see the days just fly pass even quicker. Without much realisation, it's been 11 days of work! Felt like I've been in this 'working' environment for ages.

The first few days were pretty boring. I would come to the office, and there was nothing to be done. And I realised that sitting for 5 hours doing absolutely nothing is more tiring that doing something. Being stuck in the office, with no work to do ( lack of training then) made me pick up my friend's Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown up to read...just to pass time. Since then, I was hooked. At least it helped me through those boring few days.

The worst was on Sunday the first week! I wanted to go to church, but I had work. But at work...they didn't have anything for us to do. So I sat there doing nothing....A day just wasted like that:( And it was a Sunday! Sigh. But I was thankful that I had The Da Vinci Code to read. Really made time go by smoothly.

When work came, boy, it came by the dozens! The first day when work started pouring in was like this: Step into the office, given a stack of 'jobpacks', and before I knew it, it was time to go home. It has been like that for the past few days I've been here. Just keying in data into the system. Easy, but monotonous. It's so robotised. Even my boss said that. But what to do. Just learning how to relate to ppl and learn up as much as I can, eventhough it's nothing related to engineering. The work over here comes as much as you can do. Do slowly, you get less work, Do quickly, you might just get more to do. But I've been pushing myself to do as much as I can, even if it means that mroe work will be added to me. I just want to give my best shot.

My great 'enemy' here is the afternoon-lunch-slumber. I battle is everytime after a hearty lunch. That's why a student's life is somewhat better. If you're sleepy, you can choose to skip class for sleep. But you can't do that when you are working. There are times I'm forcing myself to keep awake and go and with entering data....halfway thru, I doze off rite on the keyboard. And all my data will be gibberish.

So far, the bonding here is goign on pretty well.

On another thought, I'm currently reading(read) 2 books, with both the main character having the same name : Sophie. Coincidental. And both has some roots in philosophy and mystery.

It's a sweet name.

My time is up. I'm off for home now.

Missing so many people now...they're all so far away...but I wonder if they're missing me to.