Thursday, January 29, 2004

is ur life Amazing enough?

Critter3: we have him under our powers....he feels so restless and that's good *muahaha* as long as he doesn't settle down....we have him baybeh! darn critter2 and critter3. useless nuts! argh.....he's stirring! this humans!....what must we do to fully subdue them?*argh...splat...squish*

yo people! it's me! pay no attention to those slimy green sluggs pasted on the wall. those nuts have been badgering me from behind my ear......if u don't know who this ruthless critters are......read the blog that was posted a few weeks ago.....these aliens have been causing me to slack in my bloggin' and they'll pay!

today was a slack day.....slacker style. was in church at 10.30am. went there to meet a few rocker friends and to check out their 'stuff'! all have them are proud owners of chun 'axes', better known as the electric guitars! oks.....picture this.....4 guys.....and 4 axes....one Yamaha SGV, one Ibanez SA160QM, and two epiphone les paul custom.these are the ultimate 'frying' machines! to you car freaks....this scenario is similar to this: 1 lotus elise, 1 bmw m3, 2 porsche 911. get the pic? awh! nvm.......really hot stuff. then, there was the accessories too.....one Boss DS-1, one Morley Wah, one Zoom Gfx-4, one Zoom 505II and a couple of amps. ...(like car accessories and body kits) ah! i should skip the details....anyway,we had a good time just having a run with all the guitars and all those effects. mien! it was so hot! wish i had more guitar tricks up my sleeves:p one rocker with an Ibanez EDR170 and a Zoom Gfx-8 ffk-ed us and didn't show up.but toot himla! hehe! after all that 'jazz' we went for lunch.

so here i was after lunch with roag, and we decided to catch us a movie.....so it was The Last Samurai! mien!!!!! that movie rocks!! seriously! super kewl! action packed, and very touching. Taka is so HOT! all those Jap Chics:p anyway's one of the best movies i ever watched. well done....good story build-up.contemplating of watching it a second time. check it out for yourself.....anyways, here's a spoiler: ............decided to spare u the pain:)

the rest of my day was spent with family and onlining.........tried studying, but to no avail:( sighz

did my QT today...for a bit after not having done it for quite some time. wanna share a bit about what i learned. it's in matthew 8....it was about the centurion asking Jesus to heal his servant who was ill and Jesus said that He would go over to the centurion's house and check out the sick servant and heal him. but the centurion told Jesus that all He needed to do is just say the word. and the bible tells us that Jesus was amazed. in some version, it says that Jesus was astonished! i'm stuck with this part coz, Jesus was amazed/astonished/surprised......imagine if God were to be amazed with us.....or surprised.....or astonished with us! the centurion had that much faith to believe Jesus, that it amazed Jesus. isn't that amazing? if we could surprise God today, what would we surprise Him with? i'm challenged to live a life that will make Jesus be amazed with me.what about you?

said nuf......the conversation i had with dad last night was about keeping the ties in the family going......even if there are some rough times within the family circle. learn to control the tongue so that we do not say anything that could possibly break the family apart.keep the peace.keep the love.keep going. something learnt.

see the moon set as the sun sleeps.....beats me....follow the sun...follow the Son!
nitez world!

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

of guitars and life

*yawnz* feel so sleepy! mien, i better make it a practice to blog before i get tired:p

it's wednesday morning.....as in early morning, more of tuesday late night. was too lazy and tired to blog for monday.

here goes:

on monday, woke up.....as usual.....supposed to go to the library to study, but decided to stay home....bad choice.....didn't study! ended up sleeping for 3 hours! the other free time was used to go online.....sighz....the cyber life seems to have trailed me home:p shuckz! kinda wasted the day.....supposed to start studying by now.....what to do..........sleep so late, by the time i wake up, i still feel tired!
anyways, all that wasted time was compensated with a good time of pool! me and my church buds decided to go pool. so off we went to this place with 2 hours promotion of RM 14. wanted to play snooker, but majority ruled it out, so went over to the kiddies section to play pool. hehe! somehow, it was fun, coz the game was fast and exciting! the smaller table and larger balls made the game fun-er! easier to score. so, in comparison to snooker, pool made me look like a pro that night..or so i thought:p anyways, played till the last black ball a few times........and each time, i fouled, and lost! sux man! anyways...it was solid good stuff!
later had supper at this burger place. FOr your info guys, the Limbongan Burger Shop has shifted to Taman Kota Laksamana. so check it out! still as great! eventhough i was tired.....still onlined......some habits die hard.

on tuesday, woke up again.... great feeling to wake up each day knowing ur stil alive! lazed around again......tried to study........read 7 slides........got tired......watched simpsons.......lunch......then went out to buy guitar strings and check out guitars and guitar shops. was an educational trip. was fun checking out the guitars and the works. need to change strings.... gonna jam tomoro....so better sound good! came across alot of weird looking guitars. i wanna get guitar amps! anybody willing to buy for me:P
went back and change guitar strings.....tedious work........dinner.........din go out.........stayed home........had a long talk with dad.....discovered some new things about life......will share about that some other time......then stayed home.........till now....did tell my dad about a dream to get meself a guitar store when i retire:p
good thing about tonight, there were lots of folks online.manage to chat with 'em all fer a bit. not bad!collapsing to sleep in my chair as i type this......a sign that i need sleep.

feel like i'm so far away from GOd......no ......this can't be......i can't be backsliding:P will get to that ASAP!
pray for me guys!

Monday, January 26, 2004

meeting up...nothing more

up up and away! today is a sunday......so got ready for church....and off we went!
somehow i was struggling through the worship.....i guess i can relate to what ahbeng experienced in his entry for today's blog. was asking God to help me focus on the important...on Him...not the music....anyways..barely got thru, but i did! after the service, met up with my church friends and it was really fun to hang out wiht them for a while. some of them got married...on the verge of becoming parents:) time sure flies. yeah...my church also stopped using OHP's and they manage to get 2 projector's and a pc to control it.

instead of taking an afternoon nap...watched Hearts in Atlantis instead........real nice show. had dinner with my friend's family and mine at a nyonya restaurant. supposed to go play pool with a few church buddies, but somehow got distracted with other plans:p so went to GG's house instead. it was so nice to just hang out and not worry. a few other ppl were with me. later went for mamak to catch up on things......nothing fancy happened....just meeting friends and enjoying their company......got to go.............before monotony sets in....

God bless....got to start studying tomoro:)


Sunday, January 25, 2004

seize life and live:time is short

okay...this is actually today's entry....the blog before this was yesterday's.

today....woke up...nothing happened.....lazed in till lunch time then headed out for lunch.....then went over to another grandaunt's place.talking about diversity...my grandaunt is eurasian,if that's how u spell it :-? for those of you well ingrained in our Sejarah Malaysia....she's a 'serani'.....dunno wats that? go find out:p got Portuguese blood in her;)

great to see her too! saw her grandchildren and mien...did they look lovely:) must be the portuguese blood;) making a mental note to visit this grandaunt more.keep the family tie going. she used to babysit me as i was growing up in primary skool.she still remembers i had a great fancy to her home-made chicken porridge. hehe! sweet old lady:)

later.....more afternoon naps.....my uncle's open house.......more food....eat eat eat! saw cousins......played pop-pop......go back....that's about it la... nothing much.....

darn! almost forgot! missed the outing i was supposed to have with my ex-classmates:( last i heard only 2 people were confirmed going. sadla! where's everybody?? all my form 5 gang all missing in action:( sighz...was really looking forward to meet those dudes up....well...there's always next year.

was thinking about this year's Chinese New Year. somehow i feel it's been pretty quiet and less festive for me.dunno why?usually the 1st 3 to 4 days of New Year will all be so happening, but this year, the excitement ended on day 1 itself:( what went wrong? maybe i'm getting older....but i dun see the connection. my uncle shares the same view.so fast it's turning to the 4th day of new year, and before we know it, it's time to get back to our work..and then exams...and then new year again...and then graduation...and then.....work....then getting married.....then new year again.....work....then having kids.....then new year again......the cycle goes on.....and before we realise it, we're at the giving end of the ang-pow chain cycle. hehe! either....have to make the best of it! life goes on only once....so seize it and live to the fullest......good nite world..........

Jesus.....let my life shine out in History for You.]

Carpe Diem ( direct translation: Crap the Die in them!)

diversity,family tree,roots,blood-ties,snooker??

whoah! it's already the 3rd day of the Chinese New Year...going on to the 4th day! time sure flies! didn't have time to blog yesterday.was so caught up with loads of stuff. read ah-beng's blog just only and felt 'convicted' to keep up my own blog too.i'm supposed to make this blog a personal affair between me and my blog thoughts....sometimes i just feel lazy:P bad me!

anyways, a recap of yesterday: woke up just feeling like any other day....somehow, didn't feel the new year mood anymore:( relatives came over late in the morning......nothing much happened.....then shortly after that.....another set of relatives came.....wats different about this family that came is that my aunt from that family is my mum's sister that married a Malay man and moved somewhere south. i hardly ever see them...i think about only once a year......and for me, i feel that i hardly know them....which i deeply regret. they're part of my family yet...they seem so far away. i marvel the diversity of my family tree. somehow i wish i could bridge the gap. i have 5 Malay speaking cousins...and in a way i'm ashamed that after all this years of Bahasa Malaysia education, i find it so difficult to hold a Bahasa conversation for more than 5 sentences:( shame on me! i wanted to be able to talk to these cousins of mine and catch up on stuff....but the age gap...and other 'gaps' made me feel so helpless and speechless in my seat. so.....i sat there with my mum (who was happily chatting away with the other folks) being quiet and smiling like a 'dumba**' hehe! this are the treasures of the diversity of my family roots that i have yet to unlock......sighz

later in the night, we had another family dinner.....and after dinner i invited my cousins out for a game of snooker....been having an urge to 'snook' since i got back here:p (btw, it's a clean and healthy game for you prejudiced people) and thankfully, my cousins also fancy snooker quite a bit. kinda lost contact with my cousins for awhile and i thought this might be a good oppurtunity to keep in touch with them......i have seen how relatives just break away...too caught up with their own plans, and forget about their blood ties.it was a good time we had....just having some fun and updating one another.....i look at my mum and i admire the closeness in family bond that she has with my other uncles and aunts, eventhough they may be so far away. i have to carry on that torch....so better start building and maintaining the relationships i have now with my relatives. btw....we suck at snooker.....1 and a half hours and we couldn't even shove all the balls into the holes. pardon me for being a bit obscene. we still had 3 more balls to go....but then they had curfew....so had to respect that.

Friday, January 23, 2004

nostalgia : walking down memory lane

Whoopeeee! Gong Xi Fa Cai!! the time has come.....Chinese New Year is here......woke up and got dressed...tried to dress the best i could....new year....new beginning...better get it rite:p some people say Chinese people are lucky....coz, if they have 2 chances to start a new....New Year's and Chinese New Year's.

so then, after all the dressing up....me and my sisters got ready to meet our parents. went downstairs and they were already waiting. so i went first and kneeled before them:) and asked them for forgiveness and asked for their blessings.....a red packet came....together with smiles:) i thank God that my parents are still alive and well and they're here with me to celebrate this beautiful moment. the smiles on their faces were gentle reminders for me to honour them and treasure them while i still have them. this is a small tradidtion we do in my family:) then comes both my sis to kneel....after all is done....off we go!

first stop was my mum's uncle's house.many years ago, while my mum's parents were still alive, the first house we would visit would be my grandpa's house. now...those days are gone....grandpa and grandma are both gone.....life still goes on...and we live on with their memories:| sometimes i wish they were still around.....(feeling darn nostalgic now....y did i have to start?....tears welling up....nuts...the music i'm listening to is adding to the effect-24 by Switchfoot) anyways...it's a merry moment! so here we are at granduncle's house.....almost everyone is there.the atmosphere is merry and we just fellowship and hang around while more and more people stream thru the door:) thank God for relatives....learned abit on how to gamble *hehe* it's an annual event over here. don't gamble though, but i just watch them amuse themselves:) after much eating and updting each other, my family went over to my dad's mother's house. there we had the 2nd round of eating and fellowshipping.....haha....this is the usual routine for the new years day! my relatives from singapore came as well.....too bad my cousins that were studying in Australia didn't make it:( sighz....that's what distance can do....
we stayed on till 5pm then headed home.

this year is a bit different, coz my opposite neighbour invited us over for dinner. so off we went. mien!!! the food rocks!!! my neighbour is also Baba-Nyonya like my family...and the Baba-Nyonya dinner laid before us was just too heavenly to describe here:D i wish i had more space to stomach all the good food, but alas...i was too full, too fast. btw, my neighbour is a grandmother of about 60++ but she's so young at heart and so bubbly all the time. and she speaks English! so it's very easy for me to communicate with her. though i'm not blood related to her, she treats me like a part of her family and i thank God for neighbours like that:) all i can say, she's a hip and happening grandma! while i was there, i watched her grandchildren play......and it reminded me of my own childhood....a walk down memory lane....i'm so grown up now....so fast....anyways....the kids...3 of them, were playing fireworks....and their laughter rang in the house. years ago, when i was a kid....when fireworks were still legal....i'd have so much fun burning my aunts money away with every single 'moon traveller' that i rocketed off.....or every single 'sparkler' i waved in the air...or even...'dragon eggs' that jsut exploded to smitherines.....or not to forget the simple 'pop-pop' that i'd fling at anything and everything. those were my days....now it's time to move on. and i watched as the children's dad joined them in their plight. he was the dude responsible for buying 1 whole boxload of fire-toys for the kids. hehe told me that i could get plenty of those in 'ampang village'...where's that?? but it was fun to see children and dad having a good time this festive season, just bonding and burning up money for the sake of having a good time:p made me feel like being a dad.....not too soon though.....but soon enough:p always felt myself a family man......playing with my kids and being the best dad in the world! alas,the time has not yet come and it's too soon for me to build castles in the cloudless sky...trusting God for my future:) manage to share this passing thought with someone special though. great to hear from you:) *sweet*

ended the day with a good reading from one of the best author of all time:Roald Dahl. his work titled Switch Bitch is an awesome masterpiece of twisted irony....so contrary to all his other works that i have seen.......didn't know that he could have a darker side:P it's a good book though....mind you the title....pretty innocent actually....the bitch did refer to a female dog:p

goodnite world and thank you God for making me see the beauty of life once again!

Thursday, January 22, 2004

little joys in life

woke up ....real early today! it's Chinese New Year's Eve! and work has to be done.....mien! feeling nostalgia setting in.ever since i came back....waves upon waves of nostalgic flashbacks have been hitting me all over.

1. walked around the house and had breakfast with my family....it felt great! eating once again with ur loved ones, the most important meal of the day! somehow, the walk around the house, especially with this Chinese New Year wind blowing through it kinda game me the dreamy kinda feeling:) *sweet*
2. washed the car....like what we do all the time. felt great to be working alongside my sister's again..for a common cause:P mien! can't believe my youngest sis is wearing specs...at the age of 7....sighs....this myopic disease sure doesn't give face:p my sis is so young...yet she looks so much older:( darn specs!
3. took a walk in my garden.the garden that my mum and dad laboured on for over 10 years. somehow, today i noticed the beauty of the garden. didn't see it before! took 10 ++ years for me to notice their toils and labour! i was filled with awe....the God makes things beautiful in it's time! yeah,sure my parents took care of the garden, but it was God that made thigns grow! i saw so many flowers and plants and mien, they looked good....so tender and tranquil, yet majestic in it's God-given beauty. for a moment there, all i could do was thank God for beauty. the beauty...all in my garden! if plants can make a soul like me thank God and keep believeing in Him, what more the vast universe! how can some people be so blind and praise 'Coincidence' for creating everything....real Dumb!
4.lunch time! mum did a real good job with the cooking. had steak! whoopee!sure missed mum's cooking.i dunno bout u guys, but i'm proud enough to say that my mum is the best cook in the world! to make things sweeter...the whole family was there at lunch time...*sweet part 2* if u guys hungry for food and fellowship, the doors always open:)
5.watched Liar Liar with my sisters. sweet show....show's how lying cant damage ur life:P wished *bubblez* was here watching it with me.really missed her lots.
6.slept.....somehow.....sleep here in melaka taste better than the sleeps in cyberjaya:-? wonder why? dunno
7.reunion time-good food-good fellowship! met my grandma in that odd looking kewl house of hers. shucks! wish i could speak hokkien, now have to converse with her in broken BM. good to see my unc and aunts and a cousin!food was good....i wonder how come every year, we eat the same thing:-? but dun keh..still taste good. then headed over to another uncle's house for bbq cum supper. it was also good food! today i feasted.

here i am now...blogging as usual! keeping up with the change of times.

things i learnt today: that at the end of the day, it boils down to family...and friends. after all is said and done....your family is the one who'll be there for you.so you ppl out there, thank God you have families! and invest in ur family....if u don't, u'll live to regret it.if families dun come in handy, we always have friends...so be careful to make friends and not lose 'em. either way....have both, invest in both and bless both.

got to go.....it's getting late....dun wanna miss out on the New Year:) happy celebrating you guys:)

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

back in melaka:sleep driving experience!

just reached Melaka this evening bout 7pm...mien! it was a miracle! a miracle i reached safely. by the time i reached the kajang highway to come to melaka, i felt exhaustion take over me and i so badly wanted to get some rest.however, there were no stops in sight then. i was like a driving zombie! i wasn'y yawning or anything...but it's like u suddenly doze off....all of a sudden, like that. that's what i felt and mien, was i praying! so afraid something might happen:( finally reached a stop where i guess i slept more than half-hour. by the time i awoke,it was already 6 pm. so had to rush coz i was supposed to have dinner with my family.was still tired though....and still kept dozing but by God's grace and protection...i'm still here. thank God!

home was great! missed my family so much! was really feeling nostalgic driving past the alor gajah tol and seeing all the places i used to see when i was a kid. feeling old already.dinner was great! the fellowship and food was awesome! btw...my youngest sis started wearing specs:o so young...and already they have to facially impair themselves with those 'eye mask'

whooh.....getting tired by the minute to say anything profound.....mind not here....but will try when things kinda settle and when i got more strength....
sighz........wanna say more........so much happening......so many new findings.......

critter2: oh shut up will ya...sleep! cut your crap some other time. nut-head! shiish! can't i get some peaceful sleep without all your ramblings?!

btw: today was my first time i ever bought Hagen-Daz ice-cream. it was the smallest cup but it cost a bomb. however the taste was worth the money....so was the experience! the ice-cream was meant for a very special someone:) hope you liked it;) the flavour: Belgian Chocolate! check it out:p

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

bent and broken

test was ok.....all the hard work manage to get me thru,grace of God too....unfortunately....feeling bent and broken.......meant to live for so much more, have i lost myself? somewhere i live inside......

Monday, January 19, 2004

life:don't just survive, succeed!

it's a monday today......first day of the week.....the only constraint in mt mind at the moment is the test i'm gonna have tonight. anyways, i've got some things to say about yesterday....Sunday....before i forget!

the night before sunday....i slept at 4 am trying to study....and the next day i was serving in church....and i asked God to forgive me for not sleeping early....coz usually i make it a point to have a good rest on saturday nights, so that i'll be fresh and alert on sundays. somehow, i just couldn't afford the sleep at the moment. i asked God for strength. worship service was great that day:) after worship, i felt a lil' tired and i was thinking to myself....shucks...i might doze off during the sermon...but somehow...i didn't! that's great, coz i felt that God was trying to get my attention. the message was a simple one, titled , "defining ministry". nothing fancy,but deeply profound. during the whole message, i just felt myself break inside....like all of a sudden, and i asked God, where is this coming from. what pastor kenneth said struck me.

a lot of words were said, but the few key points is ministry is a calling. it's something that every Christian is called to do. a lot of times we get the wrong perception that ministry is all about serving full time in church or a mission field, but the greek meaning of ministry, means to be in attendance, to attend to, to aid. i hope i dun get this wrong....but by us going to church on a sunday is also considered a ministry:) we minister to the people around us. ministry is about seeing a need, and then filling it, even if it is a menial task. this really challenged me to not look down upon the small jobs that i do.hehe! we don't need a a big degree or anything of that sort to minister:) pastor kenneth showed us a concept of how a pastor equips his people, and then his people going out and equiping and aiding the others around them. for every frontstage ministry, there has to be a backstage ministry. pastor also warned us about the danger of letting ministry block out the voice of God...it's possible! but before, we can proceed to ministry.....preparation comes first. the preparation sets the groundwork for the ministry we're gonna be involved. at this point i really broke coz.....what pastor said seemed to connect with my life at the moment. sometimes, we're in a place in life where we ask ourselves, "what am i doing here???" i've been there and still am there...and i realise that it's all in the preparation phase. i really don't know what God has in store for me....but i choose to continue to be faithful.....sooner or later....it will all fall into place...and when that happens.....i'll be able to look back upon this time....and know it was all a part of a great plan. Jesus was a carpenter's son till He was 30 years old. all those years of preparation for his 3 years ministry. but, we can see that He accomplished so much more in that short time. this says that the preparation aspect is very crucial.
what ministry is for:1. to build up the body of Christ.(prepare the bride)
2. to glorify Jesus.(please the bridegroom)

at the of the service, i was so broken and in brokenness, God came. it's been always in my heart to serve others....to fill up a need...to be nice...to just help out whenever possible. and i am reminded that whatever i do, eventhough it's big or small, God takes pleasure if i give it my best. as i serve, i may be serving Jesus without actually knowing it:p if u check the past few days blog, u'll see a similar message....i guess God is trying to tell me something:)
God i thank you for speaking to me...for revealing Your word and loving me so much...thank You. use me, whatever i have, whatever i've gone through, for Your glory. i want to serve You, the best that i can. give me a servant's heart. i thank You that You love me for who i am.Amen.

that night, we had our first home cell meeting:D at A1-0-10! though it was only 6 of us....i felt so refreshed! thank you hoyden for taking the initiative and the courage to set this up. it's different form CF or CG..i guess....it's added on experience.maybe CF and CG not enough:p. 6 of us came out of willingness,though we were so busy.it was a small group....more liek homey kind! and it was fun! really felt refreshed and geared up. should do it more often. i hope that more homecells can pop out!

nuts.....been an hour since i got on this page....time does fly....better get to work!
see ya.

Sunday, January 18, 2004


things that i learned today:

1.if you don't know anything....it's ok...there are a thousand people who know nuts:)
2.if you think you are bad...look around...in life's irony, u'll find someone worse off than you
3.if you think you're rich, take a thousand bucks and bless somebody
4.if you think u're poor, take 2 bucks and spend on someone..bless them still
5.if you think you don't have time....ur definitely rite....so stop reading this and get ur butt moving:p

Saturday, January 17, 2004

what's with you anti-Conformist?? you can't beat them, join them! btw...nothing to beat:p

what's the big deal about blogging? come on guys....if you wanna blog then blog.....! don't give a s*** about what people say about that conformist crap! and if you are blogging coz of peer pressure...take a hike! sighz.....wats the big deal!!

on a lighter note......bloggers are gonna take over the world....soon....remember bout that darn crtitter behind my ear...heard about their plans.....they're using mass blogging as a means to pulverize humanity.....resistance is futile.....muahaha.....sooner or later....you're gone go bloggers...and there's no turning back........if you can't beat them.....just join them.....don't say i didn't warn you guys......


Critter1: hello everyone! nice to meet you.btw...forget about the previous post......there ain't no critter here or anywhere else on this beautiful galaxy.......so, don't have to worry...nothing to hide *hehe* uhm....that guy was just talking craps....must be not enough sleep....so...can i interest you in a blog?

There's always something in the way.....it's not me....it's You!

*can see the sun rising from here*
just woke up.....it's 8.30am over here.mien! slept off so early last night...about 12am....that's way too early. must be pretty tired...i think coz the day before i slept at 5am and woke up at 8.15am....that's only 3.15hours of sleep only:o

anyways....had a long day yesterday....besides the routine classes and tutorials.......can u believe it! i had 3 hours of maths!! prior to this, i was eating, drinking,thinking,sleeping, s***ting maths coz was working hard for the maths paper. sighz!

after that was when my escapades begun.headed to putrajaya to check a dentist out.btw ppl....the dental clinic in the putrajaya hospital is only for referred cases.....like those who were involved in an accident and the likes. so don't expect the dentist over there to give u a clean scaling session.most probably they're rip ur face off and give u a new set of fake teeth:)
i guess this info might be of some use to those who are in need of a dentist that's pretty nearby.the 'friendly' dental clinic is situated in the Pusat Kesihatan Putrajaya...which is actually a little clinic a few km away from the hospital.so go there! and oh yeah, it only operates in the morning....the dental clinic i mean.....from 7.30 am to the afternoon i think......monday to friday. all that was for your info:p

was supposed to get back early to study, however, fate brought me back again to taipan.stumbled across GladSounds!! how come no one told me there was a GladSounds here??!! it was real kewl! so many cds i wanted to buy were there...no money:( as always the case:p to me it was like my cd haven! wanna go back there someday....after i strike a jackpot or something.....then buy all the cds and books i ever wanted......lots of kewl books too...make me feel like reading! *btw,was kidding bout the jackpot..maybe rob a bank*

dinner at McDs was great! this is the only time of year when Prosperity Burger is available:) the meat taste awesome:) not to forget the burning black pepper sauce....mien i can eat a 100 of those ...till i get sick of it and don't eat it for the next one year.....then when the next Chinese New Year comes....i'll do it all over again! glad i could share yesterday's Prosperity Experience with someone who hasn't tasted Prosperity Burger before...really special.

supposed to go back after that, but then followed bubblez to get her top.....took some time....but i guess she looks real good and funky in the new outfit she purchased.worth the time we spent searching for it...after that other shop went bankrupt.....stupid letdown!

anyways...that was yesterday's experience. today's gonna be a long day too....gonna seize it....going to jam with vieri_tl laterz. hopefully this mornings state of mind don't mess up the rest of my day...sighz....a constant battle ....a constant struggle.....a war within the mind......why do i care so much....why don't ppl learn....argh! it's getting to me........aaaaaah!

*some critter jumped me....sucking the juice out of my brains....pretty soon .....i'm gonna be a zombie*

hello ppl..how are you doing? hope you have a nice day..wanna meet up? (this is not me...it's the freaking critter stuck behind my ear..he's hiding there...he's gonna con u and then his buddy's gonna jump you too and then they'll have world domination....don't say i din warn you.....so if u see me....get that thing off me! )

Friday, January 16, 2004

beautiful letdown......part2

*sighz*......just got back......feeling tired and whacked out:(
today....finally came....after waiting and preparing myself for the moment of truth.....my test came! was kinda prepared for it...did all my tutorials.....and when i got into the exam hall....i could do........but not for long......halfway got stuck and then.......no mood di:( wonder why? what went wrong? how did i manage to forget ?sighz.....pretty disappointed with myself a bit:( the paper wasn't difficult....but i was smart enough to mess up.....i need a miracle:| God...there must be a reason for all this......i did work and put effort into this.....help me trust You Lord!

was a zombie the earlier part of the day.....due to lack of sleep....sobered up at 4pm to revise a bit before facing the exam....anyways , after test....had to rush for Actstream....had makan there...sweet of them to keep us...the MMU ppl who had to come late coz of exams, some food.....privileged to play in the worship team this coming sunday.....after that...me, gnoy, ess and ah-beng decided to have a game of snooker.hehe....fun game....ah-beng and gnoy were real pros....for a moment i felt bad again...coz i sucked at the game...but after awhile...it's just a darn game:p....decided to have fun!

here i am now...pouring my heart out....somewhere in this cyber void.....gonna sleep real soon....got a test this coming monday that i have yet to start sudying....looking forward to tomoro.....being optimistic.....good night world....hello sleep......btw.......got a tune coming in my head.....so better try writing a song.............

btw...got some good news when i reached home....guess that life ain't so dull after all

thanks *bubblez* for praying for me!

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Beautiful Letdown

slept at 6 am today........or maybe earlier...can't recall....was zoning in and out of reality while studying maths.....i'm awake now.....been awake since 10 am....dunno i've been doing for the past 3 hours......oh yeah....watched The Sweetest Thing.....shucks....what am i doing?? supposed to be studying.......ok.....just here, doing my usual online visits....living in a cyber world....

btw...stuck on this song by Switchfoot-Beautiful Letdown

it was a beautiful let down
when i crashed and burned
when i found myself alone unknown and hurt
it was a beautiful let down
the day i knew
that all the riches this world had to offer me
would never do

in a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt
i was trying so hard to fit in, fit in,
until i found out
i don't belong here
i don't belong here
i will carry your cross and your song
but i don't belong

it was a beautiful let down
when you found me here
yeah for once in a blue moon i see everything clear
i'll be your beautiful let down
thats what i've ever been
and even if it costs my soul
i'll sing for free
we still chasin our tails in the rising time
in our dark third planet
when no one fights and no one's one

see i don't belong here
i will carry your cross and your song
but i don't belong here
i'm gonna set sight and set sail for the kingdom come
kingdom come
Your kingdom come
won't you let me down yeah
let my foolish proud
forever let me down

easy living not much left for pain
easy dieing hey they're just about the same
won't you please take me off your list
easy living please come on and let me down

we are a beautiful let down,
painfully uncool,
the church of the dropouts
and loosers and sinners and failures and the fools
oh what a beautiful let down
all resolved in the womb
and join us He wants you too

I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
Feels like I don't belong here
Let me down
Let me down
Feels like I'm let down
Let me down.
Cuz I don't belong here
Won't you let me down?

see ya all and have a great day!

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

gimme water...kettle needed

oh shoots! one box of soya bean is gone:p since i fried the kettle yesterday.....my source of water has depleted:( the ketle is only good as scrap metal now.....coz the insides all rusty. boiled some water yesterday after frying it, and the water tasted funny....with rust particles floating inside *ugh, yucks! now banking on the soya bean to keep me hydrated:p

today's been so full of maths......in maths class for 2.5 hours......doing optimization.....more maths to go tonight.....won't sleep much....hope not...still a handful to cover before tomoro's test. maths.....sighs! My skool teacher once told our class ," if you think u love or like maths...you don't know maths enough".

lunch was good.....met up with lots of ppl....and later hung out with hoyden and jacklyn.been a long time since i hung out with them:p all the fcm influence:p
after more rush of classes to the head, it was real relaxing when i manage to steal some time off eating ice-cream with *bubblez. +sweet+
should do that more often:) thanks for your time, yeah!

came late for CG. eraser was in charge of teh meeting. good job buddy!i think you should take charge more often;) keep up the good work:) and thanks guys for showing to CG! really appreciate your committment.

shucks again! haven't do quiet time yet...........no wonder things are so rushing.............gotta go
see ya...

i'm awake! i'm awake!

*yawn* ahhhhh! missed class:P couldn't wake up....sighz....one of those days:P last nite slept darn late *yawnz*

ok i'm awake, i'm awake!
at the back of my mind is this lingering feeling of the coming maths quiz:( but somehow, i'm still hopeful:) gonna be a long day today...mostly studying for the test...got lunch appointment at 1pm......cg at night.....God grant me strength.....it's one of those days you really wanna be optimistic and cheerful, but somehow too many things cloud your mind, to the point you lose the joy in living. God, help me trust You:)

btw NwCx, wanna say it's been great reading your blog:) can sense the hope:) good to hear you've found your reason for living again. real glad for you. hang in there ok:) things will start getting brighter...and if u ever feel the storm clouds coming again....u know you can definitely pull through it. God bless bro!

btw, my meet up with dad was good.real nice of him to drop by and 'lepak' with me. the chat was good:) hehe....bought me lots of milk and soya bean:)

oks....got to go.....hope to be back here again soon. but as for now.....study beckons:) pray for me y'all, will ya?

song of the moment: total silence:p

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Tuesday's Child ....full of grace

good day everybody! it's 3pm already.....my regret today, was i missed prayer meeting:( slept at 4am the night before trying to cover maths.the price i have to pay:*( just got back from class....hehe....actually skipped the last class i had:p walked all the way there and then suddenly didn't feel like going to class. sorry anoeL for leaving u all alone:(

i just found out that i boiled water in the kettle this morning around 10am........and i forgot all about it! so freaking dangerous!! how careless of me. i'm pretty used to boiling the water, and my houemates, shutting off the gas once it's boiled. but i guess all of us forgot:p according to my housemate, the stove was burning for 2 hours:O the kettle was practically empty after that......nothing left but a darn black kettle. sighz....losing my memory....must be getting old.

dad's gonna come meet me round 5.30 pm later. he's around putrajaya for some conference thingy. hope the meetup will be great!

btw, *bubblez*...i'll be keeping you in prayer:) take care!

gtg...catch ya later

Monday, January 12, 2004

time flies...like a bullet leaving a gun

the day is closing........what the heck....it's already the next day:P i'm still awake...trying to study maths....slowly but steady. trying to change my perspective towards my studies. have to be more serious:( but then again, that's the whole purpose i am in uni, besides campus 'fun' life. so...........pressing on,eventhough i'm feeling so tired. test is this thursday:) just do it!

had a pretty quiet day.went to classes as usual, but somehow, there was a light-hearted feeling to today's routine. i guess that was good. then after that,the day went swiftly by.
after dinner at bus station, lazed around for a bit, then headed for music practice. enjoyed myself:) finally got to play for this coming CF. hehe! the practice time , too flew by.
next thing, was giving a dear friend some guitar classes. quite a good start. she's catching up pretty fast:) got potential;) *keep it up, oraits* it was really nice seeing you:)

now, here i am......after hours of study........taking a 5.......but it's already become a 40-50 i think. gotta get back to my work. time is a depleting source.

anyways....completed the book i was talking about :"the Fourth Wise Man". the story continues:
Artaban reached Bethelem 3 days too late. by that time, Jesus and His parents had already left for Egypt after being warned by and angel to flee. so, Artaban goes on his quest in search of this Infant that would be the Saviour. he was told by the people that wherever the poor , the sick, the rejected, the lost, the outcast are, Jesus was there. so he went on searching and searching. for 33 years, he kept his quest. those 33 years brought him to the places where he came across people that needed help, love and care. and he gave of himself to these needy souls. he did his best to serve all the unfortunate that he came across. but still, he couldn't find Jesus. by then, he was an old man, and he thought he'd failed in his quest. one day, he heard news that Jesus was going to be crucified and he went to Golgotha, where the crucifiction was about to take place. through the crowd and commotion, he kinda like met with a fatal accident. lying on the ground dying, Jesus came to Him and He told Jesus that he had faield to find him while heas still on earth and Jesus told him this : "verily I say unto thee,in as much as thou hast done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, thou hast done it unto me" and Artaban knew that he had succescully completed the quest. he had met Jesus countless times without actually knowing it.

this reminds me that we should always show kindness and compassion, coz we might be serving Jesus,unaware;)

oks....time to me to hit the books again...and hit it hard:p
good nite and fare thee well

dawn has suddenly come....haha! so surf it!

just woke up...missed my alarm:p was supposed to go breakfast with someone but i overslept *hehe* dun feel too bad though, coz the other person overslept as well and couldnt get up for something to munch. don't worry:) * if you're reading this, i will make it up some other time ok! hope you enjoyed ur sleep*
1 hour before class starts.hmmm.....thank God my monday classes don't start at 8am:P

today's the 1st day of the week....kinda like opening a new box of expansive chocolates. sooner or later, the days are gonna run out just like those chocs:) but thinking of really savouring every single bite...delicious! days like these don't come by often. make the best of what i have. yeah, exams may come and all, but so what? life is more than all that!

been a real learning experience the past week.learned and realised alot of things and this blogging thingy may be just what i need to pen-down my thoughts.humans are not perfect, so we forget. i guess if i were to ever forget something, i can always look it up here. so friends, if u see me forget something, don't hesitate to kick me and remind me:)

things i wanna do this year:
1.get deeper with my faith in God...my Jesus,my lifeline
2.excel in my studies......not perfect, but trying to be excellent
3.be nice to everyone i meet......going the extra mile,let them see Jesus in me
4.write more songs...and maybe start a band:)

got to go now.....wanna spend some time having some spiritual breakfast.
see ya around. and don't forget to Live Out Loud!

btw..twiggies gurl, if you're reading this, thanks for the McD! lasted me a long time:)
btw again......Jtpl, hope you're reading this! Happy 21st Birthday ! may you continue to grow in Him ok. follow His pack and don't stray.keep seeking Him and He will make Your paths straight...for your case..straighter:p God bless. been great knowing you.you've been a blessing:D

Sunday, January 11, 2004

Transformation Sunday-Let Go

Woke up today with the usual feeling of not enough sleep, but dressed up for church and tried to look my best. said a prayer, a short simple petition to commit myself to Him for the sunday's service. nothing spectacular, except the usual sunday preparation. today was a bit different coz i wasn't on duty.so i took my time. followed's benny's car to church.

on the way, i read this book titled "the Fourth Wise Man" by Henry van Dyke. pretty interesting:) talks about the perspective of the fourth wise man, who together with his 3 other Magi friends went in search for the Infant King to be born in Bethlehem. the story touched me so much coz the fourth wise man, called Artaban, was diligently seeking the birth of Jesus. he and his friends have been reading the old scriptures and they were sure after much searching that the birth of Christ falls on that year. so they sold off all they had to buy precious gifts to present to this Newborn King. I was halfway through the story when i reached church, so i have yet to complete the book to find out the ending. however, the touching part about this this story was when Artaban had to meet his other Magi friends at a designated time and place before leaving together in search of the baby Jesus, but he was delayed by a dying Hebrew, which he looked after. and coz of this, was left out by his friends on the journey.

"But if he went on now, the man would surely die.if he stayed, life might be restored.his spirit throbbed and fluttered with the urgency of the crisis.should he risk the great reward of his divine faith for the sake of a single deed of human love? should he turn aside, if only for a moment, from the following of the star, to give a cup of cold water to a poor, perishing Hebrew?"

this story has yet to be continued......

anyways, here i was in church, preparing my heart for worship. and in the worship.....i guess God came:) it's been so long since i manage to just sit back and worship coz for the past few weeks, i've been on duty. i told myself today before the songs started to flow that i'll just worship God with all my heart and not let myself be distracted by my surroundings....like i usually am:P and in the midst of the songs, i felt that my audience was God and i tried singing him the best i could. i was totally lost in the moment that when i opened my eyes, my orientation was way off. i must have looked weird to the guy who standing beside me coz when i opened my eyes i was facing him:P
I was touched by the love of God for eventhough He was a Holy God, he still loved me so much, past all my unholiness. was really humbled:| i'm so thankful for that encounter:) made me realise that my life has a higher purpose than just existing.

i seek to be inspired by You, Holy God
You have amazed me again
i seek to be enraptured by You, Simply God
the very least that You are

all that i desire, is found in that secret place
all that You require, is brokenness in me

one more encounter with You, in this place
where Your grace so abounds
one more invasion of love, to this heart
where Your hand reachess down

at the altar of surrender
is where my heart is laid
at the table of communion
is where my soul finds strength

thank you Jesus for Your love, never failing, always abiding

at the end of the sermon which was mind-blowing, i answered the altar call and God spoke to me through the person praying for me. The person didn't know much about me, but what he prayed for me was something really profound that i knew the words of wisdom that departed from his mouth wasn't from him, but of someone greater-God! Only God could have known what i was going through and only He knows the answer. Let Go! and .....well i guess....Let God! :) thank you Jesus for letting me know You're still there:D

gotta go ....... more is yet to come:)

Saturday, January 10, 2004

and so the day continues...

time just flies. i just remembered keying in this morning's blog and now it's already nightfall:p

kinda got out of my downcast state after the hard realization that life goes on no matter what you feel or who you are. so here i am again.

had IF camp committee meeting which went on for 4 hours.was really tired out but it was ok.talked and talked, but at least we got to some conclusions. the melaka ppl were up as well discussing the issues with us.
laters, the house was up and busy with spring cleaning.......only for the sake that the landlord might give a surprise visit soon. lots of dust.....stuck here and there....mien! this house hasn't been cleaned for a long long time. took quite some time to really get to terms with the amount of work we needed to do to label this place 'clean'. anyways....halfway we took a break.........which lasted till now:p guess we're kinda settled for the current state of cleanliness. the floor dun feel sticky no more! that's a good sign;) though there's still lots of stuff all over the place.

called the agent for the house rental.....had some quick conversation exchange.....tried hard not to blow my top.....so far so good.
rental's up though. all the money suckers!

a pretty gal offered to do me tapau-ed dinner. guess that's a good sign for a good nite;)
the hunger pangs are getting stronger. my stomach beckons for dinner. can't write .....no more strength left.....will be back

when life turns sour....

today......started bad......woke on the wrong side of bed.....wonder why i even woke up...........wished i'd slept till tonight......trying so hard to ignore the pain......like waking from a nightmare into another even wrose nightmare........slowly eating myself up from the inside....hope i never get to the point where i'm a walking shell with nothing inside.......wanna get my mind off things......argh......if i had the voice, i'd scream till the glass around me shatters......so tired.........why can't they see from my point of view.......why do i keep trying so hard to justify my actions......to explain myself......to make me more real than i already am........i'm dying trying.........

God, there's got to be a reason for all this.why? life is short.i don't want to waste it.but all this crap is eating the best of me.God i need help, i need strength.i need to cary on.......help me.....

kickin' in

i'm back!
oks....had some trouble getting used to this blogging thing. can't seem to get the right buttons. the person i wanna ask for some help is apparently sleeping:(
anyways, hope this works out:)

today is the 9th day of the new year....oh nuts! it's already the 10th!
time sure flies:( but the good thing is, you get to fly with it:) on 2nd thoughts....that may not be too good too:p
what the crap?

today is the first day out of my 28 day study of the book of Matthew.

Matthew Chapter 1=> pretty interesting. pretty short. but sweet. the lineage of Jesus.

can't think anymore right now.....will continue when my brains have had their dose of prozac.


my first bloggin' x-perience!

wow! this is the first time i'm using this....
heard bout this blogging thingy a few weeks back. was pretty interested but no time to check it out.
finally, the blogging phenomena is slowly setting in;) waiting for someone to tell me how to go about setting up a blog spot. guess i couldn't wait:p
so here i am, just surfing and clicking here and typing there and ......wala! i have a blog spot!

oks. the crap has been cut. better put up something really worth reading here. otherwise i'd be guilty of internet-space pollution:o

be right back........wanna post this up first and see how it looks like.
see ya