Tuesday, December 23, 2008

There's such a thing as free movie tix

I won 4 tickets to Bedtime Stories, a movie featuring Adam Sandler. This is the first time I won something off air, being the 2nd attempt to win anything from the radio stations. So happened the radio dj gave the instructions, while I was paying attention, and with 'what the heck' attitude, I sent a 50 cents sms. And I won me 4 tickets. Woohoo! Alrite, I'm not that enthusiastic about the movie. I'm just amused that I won something. Beginner's luck as they call it. I bet the veteran radio callers are just shrugging this whole thing off.

Friday, November 21, 2008


It's a WRY 8324. In Cantonese, it don't sound so good, easy die. But I guess I got to prove it wrong:) If it's time to go, it's time to go. Someone pointed out, 8 x 3 = 24. Wow!

I received it 6 days after booking it. The experience felt like I was buying insurance. I went to see the sales person, and after a brief negotiation, she asked me to sign on the dotted line. That quick, and that was the beginning of this journey.

The 6 days after the booking flew by quickly. I was excited, yet, trying to be reserved. When I collected it, I was still in a blur. It felt surreal, yet expressionless at the same time. A weird feeling. My colleague who was with me wondered why I was nonchalant about the whole thing. It's called, keeping cool:)

I stepped into it, and I felt I now own it. I've been having 2nd hands all these while. I'm not complaining. I think I've been blessed beyond measure with having 'owned' so many in such a short time. But this time, it's different. It's the 1st brand-new that I've owned, and I bought it. Suddenly, every thing needs to be in place. Suddenly, I'm cleaning off even the slightest smudge. Suddenly, I'm wiping of the rain stains. It's just a noob feeling.

In the service manual, it's stated that it needs the first service after the 1st 1,000km mark, or after 1 month, whichever comes first. In just 5 days of getting it, I've touched 1,000km already. Today, the 8th day, it's over the 1,200km mark. Do I drive a lot.

I think this is a blessing:)

Friday, November 07, 2008


MX 986
MAP 3803
MAN 3063
WJW 6292

These were the numbers that have been faithful companions ever since the rubber met the road. I have had the privilege to handle so many numbers in just 8 years, but they were 'borrowed' or given to me. I count it a blessing. But the feeling is just different, when you actually can say that you own it. Today, is the first step of owning bigger toys to play with.

Maybe, it would be a WRY or maybe a WSA. Tune in next week.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

What if?

What if you were told you had only 3 months to live?
What would you do? What would you say?
What can you leave behind that will last for a long, long time?

I wish I had written this

Reason or Rhyme
by Crimson Epiphany

So grant me the grace, to keep from screaming
Give me a sign, let me know what you’re thinking
I guess that I, should’ve seen this all coming
I guess it’s time, for you to see that my heart’s breaking

There’s no reason or rhyme, to keep me from trying
To look at you out, of the corner of my eye
And I know it’s so wrong, these feelings belong
Somewhere else, But I can’t make them go away

So just let me know, that I’m not alone in this
Or give me a sign, that it’s just a crazy wish
Afraid to offer words, afraid to tell you my mind
Afraid you’d leave, or embrace the me I’m trying to hide

There’s no reason or rhyme, to keep me from trying
To make this happen, though it’s such a crime
I wish I could be so brave, to just walk away
O save me from myself, or let this all be real

Let this all be real
Let this all be real
Let this all be real
I know this all could be real

And so we’re here, how did it come to this?
I wish I knew, the power to resist
To hold you close, to see what might come of this
To save you from the heartbreak, the pain, the bliss

There’s no reason or rhyme to keep me from trying
There’s no reason or rhyme, to keep me from trying
To keep you from me, if I did, I’d be lying
And if you’d choose to stay, if you feel the same way
That I barely dare to feel, then let this all be real

There’s no reason or rhyme, to stop me from trying
To gaze into the world hidden in your eyes
And if you’d be so kind, to give me this time
And if I’m dreaming, just let me believe this is real

Let this all be real
Let this all be real
I know this could all be real

So if I told you, all the things on my mind
Do you think, I’d be surprised by what I find?

Friday, October 24, 2008

living the moment

The feeling is surreal. It is indeed somewhere over the rainbow.
But you won't find a pot of gold on the other side, not usually.

Friday, October 03, 2008

wake up kicking and screaming

The song currently playing in my head is Switchfoot's Awakening, where the bridge resounds :
I want to wake up kicking and screaming
I want to know that my heart's still beating
It's beating,I'm bleeding
I want to wake up kicking and screaming
I want to live like I know what I'm leaving
I want to know that my heart's still beating
It's beating... it's beating...
I'm bleeding

Yup, it's 6.00am in Malaysia, 8 hours ahead of Greenwich Mean Time and Coordinated Universal Time. Thus, the term 'UTC+8'. I thought for a bit, of how to put that phrase into existence, and thanks to Wikipedia, I've got it. All these stuff I learned in elementary geography has long eroded since I took up engineering.
I've decided, I don't just want to blog, I want to write. Ok, that didn't sound too differentiated. Anyways, I'm giving a shot at what people call 'creative writing'. (note to self: an English teacher's definition of 'creative writing' might differ from my definition)

I can't believe I spent the last 24 minutes going on about the last paragraph. Where was I? Yes, 6.00am in Malaysia, and ...Switchfoot. I should still be in bed, but someone must have turned on 'waking life' a wee bit early today. Sucks for me.

Back to the part about waking up kicking and screaming and bleeding. I don't mean the kind when you jolt awake from a nightmare. This is more, remembering that I'm alive. And you wake up to the fact,'I'M ALIVE!'. I like the verse of John Rzeznik's Iris, where you bleed just to know you're alive.

Sometimes, Life gets too 'routined' and 'schedueled', like a bus-route plan of Melaka. (alright, Melaka has probably evolved since I left it 7 years ago, but back then, the buses were always late, and you know it would be late)
Everyday, I hit the snooze button, for the longest 5 times, before I drag myself out of bed and into the washroom. This is followed by a series of self-care and basic-maintenance and then, to the shirt and tie and looking sharp bit. Yeah, and also the hair-do. Finally, with a dash of 'toilet water', I'm out the door to join the multitudes of 'bread winners', to go get me my dough, if you get what I mean. And almost as surely, the phenomenon called the 'jam' occurs, leaving me stuck in traffic for 30 minutes, just to get out of my housing area. Ridiculous!

That's roughly the idea. It happens everyday. And before long, you become part of a system. Anything new that takes place, sooner or later, becomes a system. You don't realize it, you just get sucked into it.

I've been thinking about Life a whole lot more these days. I know this human shell is fast decaying and the average life-span is 70 years, to be optimistic. But that's average. What's the big deal about living an average life? 70 years is, but a blink, compared to the millenniums that have been.

I'd rather live a short, impactful and fulfilling life, than a boring, monotonous, routine, long, over-dued life. That said, I hope He didn't put a check-mark on my name in His books for 'coming home soon'. What is 'soon' to Him anyway? Time, to Him is irrelevant. That will be another topic of discussion. If I could have it my way, I would want a LONG, and fulfilling life. I don't want to die young. I want to die finished, knowing I did everything I could possibly have done. Knowing I did everything I was meant to do.

Life is indeed fragile. One accident, and 'poof', there goes your 'fire' in the 'tribal council'. I shall leave that for another day. The sun is up, and I have to make my way home to Beloved Melaka.

To my Muslim friends out there, 'Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri'. Save me some rendang, I'm coming over!

I still want to wake up, kicking and screaming. As if, living for the first time!

Saturday, September 20, 2008


The part that hurts the most, is when you know about it, but are powerless to do anything about it:(

I hope you make the right choices. I hope you put your future ahead, take a long good look at it and see if what you're doing makes any sense. Try to imagine what you do today, having the power to destroy the future that you have. For just one moment of reckless pleasure.

Please, do this for yourself.

Thursday, September 18, 2008


I guess, you've not known love, until it makes you do something...

Sunday, September 14, 2008

14 days

The seconds turn to minutes,
The minutes turn to hours,
The hours turn to days,
The days turn to weeks,

And life begins...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Morse Code

*blink blink*
*bliiink bliiink,blink blink,blink blink blink, blink blink blink*
*bliiink blink bliiink bliiink,bliiink bliiink bliiink,blink blink bliiink*

Wednesday, September 03, 2008


To the God who makes the cogs in the fabric of humanity turn its course, and the wheels of time, rotate around the puny humans that walk the earth...

I need a firmer ground than this. I need a faith that knows no defeat. I need to know, if chance and time collide.....

So different, yet similar. We are, after all, humans.


To see your dreams,
The ones you've spent so much time building,
All crumbling to the ground....

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

my last 24

I just turned 25, about 2 hours ago. I don't feel any different. It's the same feeling you get when you're aboard an airplane crossing different world time zones. You pass from one time zone to another, you don't feel any different. But all of a sudden, the country you're over is maybe 2 hours behind time from the country you were previously from. You don't feel the change, but it is there.

25 years, or to be more dramatic, a quarter of a century. It's a milestone. I made it this far. And somehow, I am in no celebration mood, just yet. 2 hours prior to my birthday, I was in reminiscing/reflective mode. The question that kept lingering in my thoughts : What have I done with my life?

I've always viewed 25 as a far-off age, something that will not happen to me so soon. But time flies faster than a bullet. At least, you can stop a bullet. But who can stop time? Other than Hiro Nakamura. Now, I find 25 staring me in the face, and asking, what have I to offer?

I know what people say: 25 is only a number. It's just a phase, so what. You'll get over it.
It will definitely pass. No biggie about it. But it's just a personal thing, my personal thing. I viewed 25 as the age, I would be ready. The age where I would be prepared in all facets of life. I am now aware how naive I was. Change doesn't happen in a blink. I can't be perfect just cause the last digit on my age went up by 1. I realize, I am slightly better than I was a year ago, but nevertheless, still unprepared in many ways.

This is a wee bit emo, but before I can find a reason to celebrate, I need to know where I am now, compared to where I was a year ago. I need to find my bearings and see if it matches who I want to be. I need to realign myself to the goals I have. I need, to know that I've grown.

So, what have I done with my life? I'll tell you in the next post:)

Sunday, August 03, 2008

An Island Affair

I think I should make this Island Get-away a yearly affair. This was so good! I couldn't ask for more, except maybe to see huge-ass turtles. But on the brighter side, I managed to see black-tip sharks and leopard sharks.

I so needed this, to get away from work and civilization and plug myself back to nature. It's really beautiful. After looking at the vastness of the oceans and the magnitude of the heavens, how can I not acknowledge that a greater Being has carefully crafted the universe's contents.

The moment I stepped foot on the Island, I dumped my bags and took a dip right after. This is my first Island trip, and snorkeling was just awesome. I couldn't get enough of it. If only I had a digital under-water camera.

After hours of snorkeling, I found gazing at the stars by the sea, the best way to conclude the day. The heavens are just so huge. I couldn't count all the visible stars.

It's so good to just get away from work, the computer, routine, even my handphone. I just chucked it in the room the whole day.

The most amusing thing on this trip was that the Air Asia stewardess gave me her number:p

This was something we came across while walking to the jetty. God is watching, so behave!

One glance, and I knew this is a tiny piece of paradise on earth.

Whoever invented these chairs is a genius! If u lean forward, it becomes a beach chair. If you lean backwards, it becomes something like a hammock, in suspended animation. These were my companion on the long star-gazing nights.

Wanted to see huge turtles, but this was all that I got to see of turtles. In a matter of time, the owner is gonna release them into the sea.

This is the Finnish girl who is currently touring Malaysia. She was on the same boat as us. She taught me the Finnish word for Jackass: "Kusibah" (or something that sounds like that. emphsasis on the -BAH)

Kusibahs! 2 of them! Enough said.

The nice people who happened to be on the same boat with me.
From Left to Right: Jandy, Beng, The Tutor, Ah Moi, Kusibah, Dr. Siau, Ah Mei, and Ms Cute.

I'm thinking of another Island Get-away next year. Who's interested?

More pics coming up, once I get the compiled photos.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Sun Catcher

And till the Day comes, I'll still catch you your daily dose of sunrise and sunsets.

It's all worth it!

I still thank God, I'm Malaysian!

Please make an appointment

In 11 hours from now, I'll be boarding an east-bound flight to the 'Land Below the Wind'. I've never been there before, and the excitement is keeping me up! I've been wanting to make a trip there, but fate has eluded me. But somehow,(in the words of the Alchemist)the universe has conspired together to help me achieve my dream. And in a few hours time, I will have visited all the states in Malaysia, except Perlis. One more stop to go. Then to Asia! The reason for this trip to Kota Kinabalu is to attend the Mead Johnson Symposium. Looks like this new job is going to take me places, literally.

On Sunday, I will touch down in KLIA at 6pm, and I have an hour to get over to LCCT, where another east-coast-bound flight will bring me to my much-awaited vacation. Redang, here I come! Well, not actually Redang. More of Lang Tengah. Ever since I started my working life 2 years ago, I've not had the chance to go for a proper get-away. I'm so looking forward to just lazing on the beach, chilling in the sea, playing with the fishes, and checking the chicks:p

Will be back Wednesday night, and back to work on Thursday. This is, so IT!

Funny thing though, I'm going for a vacation during a weekday, while the rest of the world goes for vacation over a weekend. Hmmmmmm.....

Sunday, July 20, 2008

the beauty of grace

seven days
and i'm still standing
i'm still alive
and life is indeed beautiful

and that is the beauty of grace

Thursday, July 17, 2008

So contagiously

by Acceptance

Oh no, this couldn't be more unexpected
And I can tell I've been moving in so slow
Don't let it throw you off too far
Cause I'll be running right behind you

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Oohhh, when I'm around you I'm predictable
Cause I believe in loving you at first sight
I know it's crazy but I'm hoping to..
To take a hold of you

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Oh you're everything I'm wanting
Come to think of it, I'm aching
On account of my transgression..
Will you welcome this confession?

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

Monday, July 14, 2008

Under Headlights

Our 2nd gig as Under Headlights. We played for One Life Revolution, at Dream Centre, DUMC on the 12th of July 2008. Thanks for your support!

Unbreakable (Fireflight cover)

Morph (own composition)

Keeper (own composition)

That's What You Get (Paramore cover)

Cover me


when all else fails,
cover me
when i lose my way,
cover me
when fear stares me in the eye,
cover me
when my sanity loses its grip,
cover me
when my hope is gone,
cover me
when my understanding reaches its limit,
cover me
when my strength wears thin,
cover me
when my vision is blurred with tears,
cover me
when my faith is depleted,
cover me

cover me
cover me
cover me

i pray

Saturday, June 28, 2008


As a nutritional rep, I advocate breast-feeding among the potential mothers to be:) I would like to put a picture up here to put further emphasis, but it might not be too suitable for under-aged viewers:p

If you can't breast-feed, that's where I come in:)

*drink your milk*

The company I represent, is the one with the smart-looking lil' guy in a suit, with 4 fingers raised, showing more than 4 times.... if you watch tv, you'll probably catch him on the commercials.

5 days

it's been 5 days, and...
i miss you.

Friday, June 13, 2008

It ends tonight

Today is my LAST day at my present company.

Next week, off to milk land:)

*stretches to the sun*

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

to buy or not to buy

Mien!!....I'm having GAS now!!
(GAS - Guitar Acquisition Syndrome)
She's beautiful........
Gimme some feedback....
To buy, or not to buy.

The "Sticker-sucker"

I thank God for this device.

Not the white lil' sheep! The white cylindrical thingy, with the blue handle.

It's some sort of roller, with a layers of mighty sticky tape on it. So, once the first layer of tape gets all clogged up with junk, just rip it off and discard it. Beneath, there is another layer of sticky tape. You can repeat this, till the sticky tape runs out. I don't know what its called, but it rocks. For now, I'll call it, the "Sticker-sucker".

What it's useful for is to trap dust, lint and anything in between. Useful for picking up hair and other tiny objects. As long as the surface remains sticky, it can be used! Actually, size isn't the issue. No matter how huge the object is, as long as it sticks, bingo!

My personal favorite, other than collecting the layer of dust and hair on the floor, I use it to trap Ants! Yup! Those pesky little shitz. I don't know where they come from, but I see them roaming my table all day long. Sometimes, I find them in my drinking cup, taking a piss in my drink. I used to squash them one by one, with by finger. Those days are gone. With the "Sticker-sucker", it literally 'sucks' the ants to the roller and keep them there till I decide to throw them away.
(please don't report to SPCA....ants aren't cute furry animals, anyway.)

See what it can do!

Don't they look lovely, all randomly scattered in one work of art? Just one roll...and bye bye antsy! *problem gone*

This gives me an idea. After getting sufficient ants to decorate my masterpiece, I might just frame it up:) I just might...maybe on the next blog post:)

But beware.

The "Sticker-sucker" happens to attract rather huge bugs too! For example, this guy.

Interested to be a proud owner of a "sticker-sucker"? I got this gadget at Ikea for RM 4.90. (i should be getting paid for this advert)

Thursday, June 05, 2008

the apartment

Chick in the basket

yes, I'd like one please:)

For the love of randomness, I hope you don't think I'm retarded.

It's "no air" !! I win!


Monday, June 02, 2008

To act, in love

This is going to be a love post, but not the mushy type. Sorry to the romance addicts out there:p

There is a revolution taking place, a revolution of love; A time when people will rise and act in love, instead of the hate and anger steadily growing; A time when men and women will rise up to stop injustice, by acts of kindness and love. It is possible. Someday.

Yesterday caught myself in a place where I had all right and reason to lash out brutal verbal melodies. I had a valid cause to give a piece of my mind. A really good piece of it. I could have joined the rest and point a finger. I could have heaped 'insults' in so-called acts of righteousness.

But something caught me, and held me back. The voice said: to act in love.

What's the motive of my actions? Am I acting out of arrogance and pride? Or is it out of love? Did my actions show I really cared, or that I had power?

Sometimes, we don't give people what they deserve (the bad kind of of 'deserve'), but what they need. Sometimes, it takes more courage to restrain giving the ultimate blow. Sometimes, it's ok to let the anger go. Sometimes, it's ok to let insults lie on the floor, than to pick it up, add more ammunition and shoot back.

Sometimes it takes a man, to make the difference.

When I look at this, I know I was once in your shoes. I know the thoughts that filter through your head. I've been there. I know the pain coursing through your heart. I've tasted it. I've acted on what I thought was 'love', only to hold on so tight till it crushed. The feeling is all too familiar. I hope you will see it through my eyes one day, and know that you were made for more than this. I know you were meant for bigger things. I just know it.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Happyness is....

having Swensen's Giant Earthquke,
...at 50% off,
...on a Tuesday,
...with a group of awesome friends,
...and not having to pay for it!

Monday, May 26, 2008

As we begin

I have/had a band. Nope, not a rubber band. I'm the guitarist for Oneted. We're a 5-piece band and been around for almost a year and a half. We've done a few gigs and written some songs. We were hoping to do some recording by mid 2008. Early this year, our pretty lead singer decided to split. That kinda put Oneted on the line. It was either we all went our separate ways, or carry on without a vocalist. It felt like a bad break-up.

The decision: we carried on, hoping that someone would one day fill in the shoes of a 'front-man'. We did covers just to stay tight.

Not too long ago, we did find someone. Another pretty lead vocalist, that kinda, fell from the sky. We've been trying to gel, and so far, it's working. It's chemistry, baby! Momentum is building. I'm loving it!

With a new line-up and a new direction, we are re-branding ourselves. As for now, Oneted is no more. We are wanting a fresh beginning. A new sound.

Ladies and Gentlemn,

Presenting to you : Under Headlights!

All the best to us...

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Happyness is...

Happyness is...

Having a hot Mc Donald's Sausage McMuffin at 7am on Jalan Bukit Bintang

It's funny how Jalan Bukit Bintang slowly comes alive from its slumber to be that bustling city street we all know.

Just a thought, why do they call it a sausage, when it is actually a burger patty? And why do they call it a muffin, when it is actually a burger?

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

You can't get everything

I will be heading to Lumut in a couple of hours time. Where is Lumut? It's in Perak. For those wondering where is Perak, just google it up. Gonna be a day trip to the military camp hospital. 4 hours drive to and another 4 hours drive back.

What I'm going to miss about this job is the traveling.

During my past 1 year and 7 months in this company, I've been to Johor (Batu Pahat, Johor Bahru, Muar), Melaka, Negeri Sembilan (Seremban), Selangor (like yeah), Pahang (Kuantan, Temerloh), Terengganu (Kemaman, Kuala Terengganu), Kelantan (Kota Bharu), Perak (Taiping, Lumut, Teluk Intan), Pulau Pinang (Island, Seberang Jaya) and Kedah (Sg. Petani, Alor Setar). That's pretty much the whole of Malaysia, with the exception of Perlis, Sabah and Sarawak. Though some of the journeys are tiring (imaging driving for 9 hours to Kelantan) it has been fun. I get to sightsee and play while I work. I get to taste the local food and enjoy their beaches. (shhhhh! don't tell my boss)

If only I had enough time to visit all those places one last time before I make the switch and be confined to Kajang, and Putrajaya and Seremban and Kajang, Putrajaya and Seremban and Kajang (you get the idea).

Gearing myself for the jump.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

I need this.

God, I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

Maybe I've stopped dreaming. Maybe I've stopped living.
Going where the current takes me.
My daily finishing lines are deadlines and expectations.
Then, it's nothing. Void. Empty.
Change is always happening. Constant change within the tiny circuit of my existence.
But is this all? Is this it?
I know, change is constant. But if change only happens within the same sequence, it becomes routine.

I need to dream again....

Sometimes it's hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can't see
To reach my destiny
I want to take control but I know better

Forget the fear it's just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust

Fireflight - Unbreakable

Sunday, April 27, 2008

funeral for a friend

"Death puts life into perspective"

Yup, it does. Life is like a vapor. One moment you have it, and the next instant, you might not. Fragile. Volatile.

People die everyday, big deal. But when it happens closer to home, that's a different story. Suddenly, it becomes your story. It used to be the loss of someone's parent, or someone's friend. The feeling is distant. Now, it's actually, my friend. It's closer to home. Almost the same age. Young people should never have to die.

I actually know this person on a personal level. I remember Christmas presents. I remember the chats. Graduated. Lost touch for a bit. And then, in an sms, she's gone.

It's sobering, and humbling at the same time. I was on a week's trip covering the east-coast. Battling roads with monstrous vehicles and crazy drivers, in the pouring rain and rough terrain. Trying to rush, destination, to destination. It could have been me. I could have met my Maker. But, I was spared.

"There are 2 things in life you can't run away from: Death & Taxes"

why can't it just be taxes...

I think, a father should never have to bury his child....

Friday, April 18, 2008

Cleavage on Demand

Today, I heard the darnest thing in a long time (Other than JJ & Rudy's slot on Hitz.fm). I know we live in an 'instant' generation. Everything now is instant, or quick, fast, zippy, zap..etc,etc. From instant noodles, to 30-minutes photo-printing.

But, instant cleavage? That's gotta be the wackiest thing I heard today. I overheard it on the radio while driving, and I literally laughed out loud. The advertisement was a Triumph promo with the tag-line "cleavage on demand". Can't recall in exact words, but the idea thrown across is that girls (and some 'men'), no matter the size of their 'assets', can have a 'nice' cleavage with their latest 'wonderbra'. So, it's cleavage, anytime you want. I don't want to go into details, but it's really funny when you hear the word 'cleavage' on national radio mentioned so many times!

So, if you are one of those, who need to whip up a storm of a 'cleavage', there is hope waiting in Triumph stores near you. (applies to men too)

I don't really fancy blogging about stuff like this, but this is really funny.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Questions you dare to ask yourself

"what do you really want?"

That is something I find hard to answer. Maybe cause I'm afraid of what I really want. The mind has the capability to fool yourself, to twist facts and logic.

Sometimes, I dare not say what I really want, because I know it takes a lot of work to get it. Nothing in life is easy.

I wish I knew, what I really wanted. I wish I was courageous enough to say what I really want, and go after it.

God, help me.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

a novel

If I could, I would write you a horror novel where the main character is a person that has insomnia. He dreams he is sleeping, but he isn't. Wait, he shouldn't be dreaming, because, he can't sleep in the first place. Anyways, maybe he does sleep for short periods, but in those disturbed few minutes, he dreams he is sleeping a long, long time. No...how can that be....

I don't think I can do horror... *sigh*

But if it shockingly horrifies you and give you kicks, I would.

Saturday, April 12, 2008


Not everything is ideal, though we wish it to be.
So, we live and make the best of it.
Though it may not be ideal, it can still be beautiful:)

Sometimes, we just have to do it like how our parents did,
The old-fashioned way.

..you're my dream, please come true..

Thursday, April 03, 2008


Note to self:

Don't get ahead of yourself. Things may not be what it seems now, or maybe it really is what it seems:) Either way, watch out. Be on your guard. Time will uncover answers. But while time is still available, enjoy the moment. Fleeting moments. Smell the roses. It's all good.
But remember, don't get ahead of yourself.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

The way to the toilet is through here

Let's play a game. See if you can spot the similarities in these 3 situations:

1) Colleagues farewell dinner
2) Ex-uni mate's birthday dinner
3) Church member's birthday dinner

Yup, it's about food. And, the obvious, it's about dinner! But those are wrong answers. The real answer is, relationship/friendship.

It so happens that all 3 falls on the same night. It's just one me vs 3 different locations around the same time. I would love to attend all three, so I try. I manage to squeeze time for all three, not missing out the most important part of each.

So little time, so much to keep up with. Why can't they see that? Why can't they understand? Why are they not so forgiving? It's not on purpose that I miss out on them. I try, but I can only do so much. Their sarcastic welcomes and sinister comments leaves a bad aftertaste. Some people have already given up trying to strike a balance. What's the use? You still get labeled and branded by the 'unforgiving', anyways. So might as well screw it big time and leave no room for return. On my side, I try. As hard as I possibly can. At the end of the day, isn't it all about people? People = relationships. And sometimes, People = Sh*t.

I can only try so much, and please a few. But as long as my conscience is clear, I'll have to let it be. If they don't understand, it's alrite.

To top the cake of disparity, there the few that I try to maintain contact, but come up against a wall. What's the use? I try. I make small talk, in hopes that it will lead to deeper conversations. I ask their well-being. I try to connect from before. All I get in return is monosyllabic answers, with a dash of silence. It pierces. I know I was wrong in the past, but can we make amends? If you maintain this way, while I try to change, who's in the wrong now? I'm not like that anymore. I've changed. Is there room for grace? Or would I always be facing the judgment seat of erring beyond mortal forgiveness. I ask, but you don't. I inquire, but you stay silent. What kind of relationship is this?

*useless, a chasing after the wind*

On another note, I'm glad that you're all right:)

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Good Friday, indeed it was.

Good Friday was good.
But, religious duties and spiritual experiences aside, it was really, indeed Gud Friday!

*long drive, teary eyes, chipsmore, raindrops, hot soup, cold weather, chilly wind, toilet break, short queue, standing among 'older' folks, waiting, waiting, cheering, bright lights, no videos please, people getting into the groove, big hair, getting high on singing, unfamiliar songs, a touch of 80s, good performer, weird music, pretty boys, pet boys, walking alongside the rain, starbucks, fog, 20km/h, long drive, curfew, safe *

thank you:)

Friday, March 21, 2008

The Friday it was Good

I don't really recall much about Good Fridays, as in, the personal happenings of this very day in years past. When I think hard enough, I remember bits and pieces of Easter events and Good Friday services. That's about it.

So,what's so good about Friday? I am brought back to this question every year. As cliched as it sounds, it is indeed the basis for what I belief in today. It's a story of redemptive grace. Until today, I am still trying to comprehend the magnitude of this event. It is beyond me. What if there was no Good Friday? What would I be today?

Questions aside, there is this longing, a close shot to calling it an ache, deep inside me, seeking significance and purpose. I think man was created with an innate desire to achieve success and live a fulfilled life. How is success determined? What is the measure of fulfillment?

Compare this to the saviour who hung on the cross for me. What is all my struggles compared to the Son of God hanging there in my place? Where does success fit in, or even fulfillment? How can I bring myself to be so selfish, when I knew that someone gave up all, so that I can live life, abundantly.

Yet, I still live life, as if it were completely mine. Living in the abundance of the flesh. Living as if I bought this life with my pathetic dollars and cents. Living, ignoring the grace that was shown me. Living, oblivious to the man whose bleeding sides was supposed to be that of mine. Living, sinking into my pity, when grace is there.

Worlds apart. I know. Yet, you still came. Knowing that I would live like this. You still gave. Knowing I would taste you, and still dabble with the glitters of this world. You still took my place...

I hope I will be worthy...No, you already made me worthy. I just hope this light will shine a brighter meaning in my darkened life. I hope I can bring myself to live in that reckless abundance you have already purchased. I have the tickets in my hand, but my feet is not bringing me to the entrance of that life. Another taste of eternity, and I hope I can leave it all behind for that road that leads to where you are.

I am more certain than ever, I need Jesus, the reason why Friday is so good.

Head Over Heel (In this Life)

Head over here and take me
Head over heels and aching
When I told you I was yours,
I was yours

In this life you're the one place I call home
In this life you're the feeling I belong
In this life you're the flower and the thorn
You're everything that's fair in love and war

I'm coming down like a gun shot
In all these battles that I've fought
You're the mark I'm aiming for
I was yours

In this life you're the one place I call home
In this life you're the feeling I belong
In this life you're the flower and the thorn
You're everything that's fair in love and war
In love and war

Head over heels
Head over heels

In this life I'm stubborn to the core
In this life I've been burning after more
We both know what these open arms are for
You're everything that's fair

In this life you're my only one

Saturday, March 15, 2008


And it's crazy when love gets a hold of you
And it's crazy things that love will make you do
And it's crazy but it's true
You really don't know love at all
'Til it's making you do
Something crazy

This is the lyrics of one of my favorite songwriters of all time. And it is indeed true. When you are in love, you do lots of crazy things (like going for karaoke, when you swore to yourself you'd never sing to a television). I'm not in love, yet. But, I'm already seeing crazy things.

Maybe being crazy is humans unconscious response to indicate the capacity they can expand themselves to. You reading this, I bet you've done something crazy before. I know I have. And when I look back, yeah, it's crazy.

I've had my share of doing crazy stuff, and having people do mind-blowing crazy stuff for me too. I wish I could list it all here, but then the list would be too long. And we start to wonder where have all the sane people gone.

I think getting into 80's mode, that's crazy for me:)

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

A brush with politics

I've never been one to be very politically aware. I'm usually in the blur. I only know the few jargons that go around the politic circuit, and that's just about it. Tell me names of the notorious opposition leaders, I might have heard them. Name me some obscure political leaders, I'll go, "who that?"

I am finally of age to vote, and so happens, an election comes my way. In a way, I am thankful for the SPR to open a booth in my university way back then. It made registering to be a voter a lot easier.

March the 8th came, and I did my duty. I choose to believe that my one vote did count for something, even if it was just one.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

of just like breakups but not it

It feels like a divorce, where I get to keep the kids (1,2,3,4 of them), the house, the cars, the pool, the sun-chairs by the pool, the pool table in the pool room, the dog, the china collection, the fridge, the 55" plasma tv, the harman/kardon Audio system, the whole works....and still feel empty...and virgin...

hehe. I didn't go through a breakup, not in the past 572 days, I think. This is just an analogy.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Cat Kill


This time, it has become personal!

I try to be neutral, and peace-loving. But some *blip*-ing animal thought I was piss-loving and decided to pay my room a visit while I was outstation. And that *blip*-ing thing took a piss on my bed and pillow!

It stoinks so bad! I almost put my face on that pillow. Just as my head was about to land on it, I smelled something weird and caught myself before I got a dose of ammonia. Later on, I realized that it's the familiar smell on my front porch, where the *blip*-ing neighbors *blip*-ing cats always take a piss.

I knew theoretically, that cats are evil. My friends, who are anti-cats, have been 'preaching' the 'news' to destroy all cats (after they grow out of their kitten phase.as kittens, they still are cute). I never really bought their 'message'. I tried to give the felines a benefit of a doubt. I thought they were misunderstood creatures.

Today, all that is over! Not after they took advantage of my helpless bed and pillows. How they got into my house beats me, but their piss stains says it all...unless one of my house mates did it, which I try to doubt at all cost.

Call me cruel, but I have a personal vendetta against cats now. If I could, I would *blip* *blip* *blip* *blip* them, and let them die a slow painful death. WWJD don't work for this matter...

All cats that piss on beds should be like this.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Of passion and photography

I got my hands on my sister's Canon 400D DSLR and I've been toying with it ever since. I've been trying my hands out with photography. I don't know much, but it's been fun so far. Learning up the basics. I think I want to delve deeper into this art. It's gonna cost lots of money to get the accessories, but, my first target is to get a new set of lenses which will cost over more thank 1k.

Anyways, do check out my stuff at this site.

Your comments are greatly welcomed:)

On other news, I got a new 'mistress'. She's a beauty. It was a love at first sight experience. I got a 'wife' and another 'mistress' already, but I just couldn't help it. This one was a sure-looker and head turner. And does she sound sweet. She's got a sweet tone to match that curve;) She sings so beautifully.
Please meet Juliet (a.k.a. Harriet)

I will do her justice by trying to take better pics of her and load it up someday.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

The longest...

This is probably the longest time I've been back in Melaka since I left her when I left for Cyberjaya. Actually, since I started working. As an MMU student, I've had the privilege of having a really long semester break, almost 2 months due to some timetable shifts. Since I started working more than a year ago, I've never been home more than 5 days. This time round, I got slightly more than a week.

Melaka, she's changed so much. The roads seem narrower, while the cars populate the streets like they were mass breeding. Can almost put it as an analogy of a clogged artery needing a bypass. Every's almost jammed during weekends. The prices are going up, food and transport. But still, Melaka, she's a beauty. Gracefully growing old.

To me, Melaka is my haven, my escape. In physical terms, she's refuge for the weary. Whenever I need time out from everything, I come here. Melaka's home. My family's here. And nothing like a good dose of family to put everything into perspective. I thank God that I still have Melaka, and my family. It helps to just get out of routine and be in that hideaway.

I purposedly choose to spend a longer time back here this time round, was mainly for my youngest sister. I realised she's all grown up, almost a teenager. I just became a teenager when she was born. Now, she's touching that phase in her life. It feels like only yesterday, when I could carry her around. Now, she's all grown up. It would look darn silly carrying her now....overgrown baby. I just want to catch her one more time, before she reaches that teenage stage where it's not cool to hang out with big brother anymore.*sighz*

But it's been good, while it lasted. Heading back to KL in a few hours time. My heart feels heavy everytime I think of packing up to head back 'home' in subang. And to hear my sister beg me to stay for at least one more day longer....

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Advice from the dentist

It's been like 5 years since I stepped foot into a dental clinic for personal purposes. My job requires me to visit lots of dental clinics to promote my product, but it's different when you're the one under the drill.

After so many years, I felt it was time to go for my check-up. As I remember, I was there back in 2003. But after checking with the receptionist, she said I haven't been there since 1999. I think she forgot to record it.Her bad!

Anyhow, this dentist was the same guy I went to as a kid. He's grown slightly older since then, but alot more experienced. Being in the dental chair gives me the shivers. I remember the 5 *blip*ing years of wearing braces. The thought of being helpless in the chair while the dentist drills and pulls and yanks and twists and all that jazz, traumatizing!

I was expecting him to tell me that my tooth were rotten and I need feelings, I mean fillings. But nopes. He didn't. So that was a huge relief. Bottomline, I just had some measly tartar build up, and no, it's not the fish dip. Tartar is badd! It east away your gums. After awhile, you get receeding gums. Big words, but it just means you lose your gum flesh. This will make your teeth look longer. Cool eh? So you will look like some vampire for a bit. When it gets worse...I can't rememeber what happens...but I know that you have to replace them with gold studs and blings. But, you will definitely lose your teeth.

After some scaling, my smileys were good as new. Not much damage was done, but now I had to make sure I don't have to ever go scaling ever in my life. That's what the dentist dared me. In order for that to happen, I need to floss every *blip*ing day. Now, to floss for 28 days straight till it becomes a habit.

So, the lesson for the day (for those ignorant of dental hygiene, like myself) PLEASE Floss your teeth! And floss it correcly. Use proper techniques.


I was planning to blog for some time, but time has eluded me so often. 2007 was a year of many things. I won't go into details, but it was a first for alot of things. Which I plan to elaborate in time. But for now, 2007 was a good year. A year of cut-offs and closings. Just in time to start 2008 fresh.

2008....I'm ready! (I know it's already February) Bring it on!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Laying the last brick

Only one brick left. The last one standing, at where used to be a huge pile. 117 bricks to be exact.

Time indeed, does fly. It's down to the last few hours before the last brick is no more.

Packed bags and air plane tickets are not always a good thing. But farewells are life's way of telling us that the good times really did happen. For whatever it was, it was good.

I bid you goodbye, and a safe journey. Till we meet on a different shore....

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Pre-Holiday Special

Balancing spoons on your nose can be fun, and so is walking barefoot around the mall.
I'll take a little time to try that out sometime, but I am 'unfortunate' enough not to be able to wear heels, not that I want to:p
I'm getting used to letting you win the game of foosball, but from how you see it, you beat me fair and square, which I'm fine with that too. We'll let bowling determine that.