human

When hardships stare me in the face, I realize once again, the frailty of my mortal nature. Flesh on bones, with a spirit trapped within. I scream from the inside, but unheard on the outside. The demure countenance masks the inner turmoil of the soul. Maybe Thoreau was right, regarding the state that I am living, a life of quiet desperation.

While typing this, I managed to slip in a couple of minutes with Jung, and turns out I am an ENFJ. If this is true, I am similar to King David of old, as well as, the not-so-newly appointed President, Barack Obama. One of the jobs listed I could do, is a physician. I knew it all along that I should have studied medicine. Somehow, I could see myself as a doctor, but couldn't see how I was going to get there.

I am starting to feel this restless feeling, again. I need a 'reset' button, but I can't find any that's working. All the thoughts of 'if's' and 'what if's' circle my head, forming an intense game of 'police and thief', a Malaysian version of catching. If only I knew answers to life's mysteries. If only...

Now I understand why the public no longer read mainstream news. So much for censorship.

I am tired, and I need some directions. I feel like a headless chicken running around.

my conclusion to this hypothesis, time does fly

It's been slightly more than a year since I stared work in a new company. 16th of June marks my first anniversary in Mead Johnson. It's been a great journey so far. So much to learn, with opportunities to do better. Great colleagues and managers.

This sounds so cliched, but it was almost like yesterday, when I first stepped into that new environment. And so quickly, time has passed. I shudder at the thought that one day, I will realize that I've been working for 30 years...and it's time for retirement.

The older I get, the faster I feel time flies. I have a hunch that when I have kids, time will speed even faster than light...and with a blink of an eye, I will be marrying my kids off.

All these thoughts are scary. What is life? What is time? They are but passing moments.

I am afraid that I might be too caught up with distractions to taste life to the fullest.

God, show me my purpose in Mead Johnson, and help me fulfill that destiny.

First ever!

I've been working for almost a year. To be exact, 9 days shy of a year. I have good news! After all these time, I managed to close my first sale ever. First major sale that is. I've sold a few small items, but that's about it.

It's not my doing. Not my eloquence or closing technique. It's not me. I give credit to God for making it happen. If it was me, it would never have been this quick.

I had initially taken leave on Friday, but on Wednesday, a call came in asking that I be present for a meeting in Melaka with the Dental Head of Department (HOD). I was told to prepare a presentation and all that jazz. The doctor said it was good news because they have the budget and will be buying a system from me. At the back of my mind, I was thinking that they always say that, and the time for the sale transaction will take another few months of processing. That's how it usually is.

Come Friday, I find myself leaving for Melaka at 6am. 8.30am, I am in the office with the HOD and my doctor. First, he asked for me to tell him about my systems. 30 seconds into my talk, he asked me for the best system I had, that my doctor wanted. So, I showed him. Before I could say anything, he immediately asked for the best price. I told him that this was already the best price. He asked for me to renegotiate with my manager and to take as long as I needed.

I find myself in the corridor for the next half hour just discussing with my manager. And after settling for a compromise, I walk into the room. They were looking at me with anticipation. the HOD was hoping the price would be good so that he could purchase the system for my doctor. My doctor on the other hand was also hoping that the price would fit into the budget, cause, she really wanted that system. When I told them the price, they immediately agreed. It was enough for their budget.

With a handshake, the deal was done. Come Monday, I have lots of paperwork to do, but it's the good kind of paperwork: the confirmation that they have purchased my system.

By 10.00am, I was on my way to Genting for a training. During that drive, it suddenly dawned on me that I actually have at last, closed my first sale! It took a while for it to sink in. While I was heading down to Melaka, I didn't expect the sale to happen today. But by God's grace, it did. And without much of a hassle. After almost 9 months of follow-up...it finally happened. All glory be to God!

Thank you for praying together with me.