:)

Sunday, August 14, 2005

What happens on birthdays

I've been one to eat almost anything that is considered 'food substance'. I've tasted most things without much of a hassle. I shrug off what people whine as 'gross'. Of course, I don't eat shit, literally. But what I consume out of the blue is usually 'shit' for the 'weak-hearted'.

Well, I have finally found something 'food' but with the qualities of 'shit' that has really left me blinking. The usual birthday ceremony will include either a trashing of such proportion that your clothes stink for days, or in my case, I HAD to eat some crappy concoction of harmless food, that when combined together, produces a develish delicacy only for the unfortunate birthday kid-A once in a lifetime experience. In my case, that bloody thing was shoved into my mouth by tremendous force (think Chee Yong).

The speciality presented to me was 2 pieces of delicious Chipsmore Chocolate Chip Cookies (one of my favourite, after, Famous Amos and Tesco's) with a thick (when I say thick, I mean like 1cm thick) layer of green, juicy Wasabi paste. From the moment I set eyes on it, It spelled DOOM right smack in the middle of the harmless Chipsmore Cookies.. Although I eat almost anything that is edible, I've learnt to respect the the simple Wasabi paste. Something so 'green' should never be taken lightly, or uncharacteristically. Whenever I hear the phrase, "Green with envy"....*pop*....Wasabi green.

Well, before I could say "MAMA', *poof* it disappeared into my mouth. All I could remember next was the usual 'shooting-up-your-nose' pain. Tears started forming with a touch of nausea. I chewed as best I could to grind that unholy crap in my mouth to bits so that I could at least let my stomach deal with it. But no matter how hard I tried, the 'goo-ier' it became, till it was just slosh swimming in my mouth. My 'fans' were cheering me on with taunts like : "Be a Man" & "Do the Right thing". At that point, the right thing was to just puke all over them. Serve them all.

For one, goo in your mouth is not a good sign. Number 2, 'up-your-nose' kinda pain, just makes you want to rip your head off. Number 3, with tears blocking your vision, you can't really aim who you wanna puke on. Number 4, with all of these going on at the same time, and the fact is no matter how hard I try to swallow that evil slosh, I just need to get it out of my system.

So there, I let my horrible fans down. I puked it all out. I tried. I seriously did. Heart, Soul, Mind & Body..Spirit also. It just won't go down. Each time I tried, nausea hits me right there.

I've learnt a new-found respect for wasabi, and I bow down to those who just gobble up that greenish crap with ease. ( It goes for the sick people who use their nose instead).

What a birthday *sigh*

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