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Friday, February 06, 2009

Life in death

Yesterday, I heard news that someone I knew passed away in the morning. They found him dead in his bed. Reasons of death was unsure, but he probably died in his sleep. Some theoretical causes could be due to chemical imbalance caused by stress.

I hardly know him. All I know is his name and the organization he works for. I met him end of last year, over lunch. We chatted about life and work, the basic introductory topics, sufficient for a decent conversation. And that was it. We never talked again. I saw him now and then, having forgotten his name, but recognizing his face. When I heard so-and-so passed away, I had to jog my memory to place the name to the face.

This blog post isn't so much about his passing. As I mentioned earlier, I hardly know him, let alone be labeled as one of his friends. This whole event reminded me how fragile life is. A great poet once said that our life is as vapor; One moment we live, and in another, we could be gone.

I live with this notion, that I am destined for great things. But who am I to lay such hope? I bet everybody wished they were destined for greatness. Everyone has the inner desire to achieve something great in their life. I have that. And I yearn for fulfillment in the life I live. But sometimes, everything seems mundane and routine. Am I actually going anywhere with all these?

What actually shocked me about the passing of this person was that, he was young. 23 years old, moving on to 24. When I read his memorial site set up by his friends and family, I am awed by the life he lived. Sometimes you find out so much about a person by the testimonials left behind by friends and family at a funeral. Like I said, I hardly know him. But as I was browsing through his testimonials and looking through his timeline, I knew this guy was something; The convictions he lived with, the dreams he lived for, the simplicity of his life, and how unashamed he is of his faith. It's sad that sometimes, the good die young.

I don't know why God took him away. When I look at my life, I know I've been spared so many times. I could have been taken away in a road accident. But still I'm here. I need to see beyond the now, and live a life of purpose. I'm ashamed to say, I've not really lived yet. How would have Jesus done it? The books tell his story. But I'm not so obedient. And my carnal flesh is so loud sometimes.

God, make my life count for something worthwhile. While there is still breath in me, teach me of this deeper relationship with you, that transcends the church walls, the religious views, the social stigma.

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