:)

Friday, August 07, 2009

human

When hardships stare me in the face, I realize once again, the frailty of my mortal nature. Flesh on bones, with a spirit trapped within. I scream from the inside, but unheard on the outside. The demure countenance masks the inner turmoil of the soul. Maybe Thoreau was right, regarding the state that I am living, a life of quiet desperation.

While typing this, I managed to slip in a couple of minutes with Jung, and turns out I am an ENFJ. If this is true, I am similar to King David of old, as well as, the not-so-newly appointed President, Barack Obama. One of the jobs listed I could do, is a physician. I knew it all along that I should have studied medicine. Somehow, I could see myself as a doctor, but couldn't see how I was going to get there.

I am starting to feel this restless feeling, again. I need a 'reset' button, but I can't find any that's working. All the thoughts of 'if's' and 'what if's' circle my head, forming an intense game of 'police and thief', a Malaysian version of catching. If only I knew answers to life's mysteries. If only...

Now I understand why the public no longer read mainstream news. So much for censorship.

I am tired, and I need some directions. I feel like a headless chicken running around.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

ah ENFJ. :) things suddenly make more sense now.

you'd make a good doctor. ( uhm, you even already have the writing, :p ). plus all those pills you carry around. ( and of course that caring persona )

no accidents. just different decisions - longer/shorter routes. but you have time. you STILL have time.

We will never really know the 'if's and 'what if's - the only thing you know you have for sure is today, and the people around you today.

:) i feel the same too sometimes, like i'm running running running around. All I really need to know is that my pivot, my fulcrum is in the good Father who holds it altogether.

Still. we're only human.

You take care there, wiem.

ying said...

I have a batchmate who is 45 years old. and many other in thirties.
I've seen an intern who is a grandma already.

and u're ...26.

STILL have time. Never too late if He calls.

=)