Ishmael

Today, I almost made an 'Ishmael', just like almost every other day. Alrite, no funny ideas. I meant, I almost took something into my own hands instead, of waiting for divine timing. I'm always so close to taking this into my own hands. But I don't know how long I can keep this up. I'm weary of holding it all in. One day, it might just give way, and I'll slip. Then, it will all be screwed up.