family...the breaking link

Over the weekend, I managed to steal an opportunity trip home to Melaka. It was a last minute decision event, and I relished the idea of going back. I did miss my family lots, and it would be many moons away before I had another chance to go back. So this was the right time, plus, ISS nite was postponed, giving me asure confirmation that I was pre-destined to make this trip home.

Cut the long stody short, it was a eventful weekend. Lots of grocery shopping was done, and not to forget, I took my mum's place at a wedding dinner. The wedding was that of my senior. When I was in Form 1, he was in Form 5, and his girlfriend then, was in upper 6. The year was 1995. 10 years later, they've made it and are finally married. 10 years!!! 2005! I could see that they've grown alot, but their love for each other was still the same. In those 10 years, they did take a break, but the good news is, they're finally together. What a fairy tale.

On saturday morning, I had breakfast with my family. While we eating, we bumped into a family friend. He was with his daughter, if I'm not mistaken, she's 9 years old. They were so loving and just the picture of father and daughter was a sweet picture. However, underneath the serene surface, a sad story was written. A few years ago, his wife left him. I don't know much about the background story, but another broken family is added to the statistic. That's really sad. I remember his wife as a really pretty looking lady, who was much younger than he was. That's besides the point. I used to see a lot of this couple. Over the years, I don't know what happened, but all there is left is this man with his 2 kids. The mum just walked out. As I looked at his daughter, I could see the resemblance of her mum in her tiny face. Pretty. But I do wonder what's going on in her mind. I wonder what's going on in this man's life. The family used to be such a sacred institution. What has become of it now? I wonder how did he managed to pick the pieces of his life again. My parents mentioned before that he was a good man and husband and father. He provided everything for the family. Yet, after 9-10 years of marriage, his wife left. I wonder why? I'm not a busybody, but it really makes me wonder how could family just breakdown? My mum commented that he's looking better now. Guess he finally managed to move on.

That is still besides the point. As I was growing up, I had lots of ideals. One of them was marrying and starting a great family. I've always been one for family. And I view marriage as sacred. In my mind, I picture family as a form of refuge. A place of comfort. I picture coming home to a loving wife. Someone who would bear my burdens with me. Share my sorrows and experience my joy. That's what I see. I see a family protecting one another. I see family as unbreakable. Nothing can break the bonds.

But as the days become more evil, I'm not sure if family is such a refuge anymore. I see families breaking apart more conveniently than porcelain and china. I see one partner walking out so hastily. Where is till death do us part anywhere in all this? What have families become?

I was troubled and I share my thoughts with my dad over breakfast. And he mentioned that the times are changing. Women are become more aggressive and men less bold. He said that in order to adapt to the changes, we need to secure our friendship with the people around us, even well after we're married. Back in the good ol' days, once a couple start life together, they separate from their friends and become more independant. They're core is the family. But now, the change should be in still maintaining the core and closeness of friendship well into the marriage. Just in case things like this should happen, at least, you have friends you can count on. And more than that, you could be a friend to be counted on too!

I don't know what the future holds. But as I think about it, I'm sure that my future is in greater hands:)