Morning Runs

After hearing last weekend's message by Pr Kenneth, I am inspired to live a disciplined life, not just spiritually, but also physically. A disciple is marked by a life of disciple.

I managed to wake up early enough today, and decided to go for a much needed morning run. I was aiming for 2 rounds, but surprisingly, as I prayed and run, I found myself doing 3 rounds. It sure feels good! Not only am I keeping fit, but I managed to cover some important stuff in prayer.

I hope I can keep up with this, and not puncture half-way:p

accidents happen

Today was like any normal day, rushing to meet deadlines, weaving through traffic during rush-hour, thinking about what needs to be done in the office and at the meeting afterward, and then.....*bang*

My 9-month old car has been knocked-up. Not too bad, but still needs workshop attention, leaving me car-less for at least a week.

I remember staring blankly ahead at the on-coming traffic, while my thoughts raced through the accomplishments of the day. I heard tyre screeches. I looked up. It was the car in front of me executing an emergency braking. I jammed my brakes as hard as I could. The screech in front ended with a loud metallic thud, a crash. Thoughts flashed through my mind. My life, did NOT flash before my eyes. All I remember was me telling myself that 'this is it, habis'. I braced myself, praying that the distance between my car and the crashed car ahead would buy me some space. I think I blinked. And then I heard my own metallic thud of fiberglass on metal. When I opened my eyes, there was this masterpiece of metal obstructing the fast lane on the LDP. *tada* .

Well done, weeliem.

Above all, I am thankful that I am still alive. It could have been worse. But I was spared a more graphic encounter. Thank you Lord.

On a more coincidental note, all 3 cars had number plates starting with '8'. Life sure is funny.

26

Today, I pass the quarter-life marker, that's if we humans live till we're 100.

I enjoy birthdays a lot, but since turning 25 last year, birthdays have become a rather sobering affair. Though I gladly await the tick of the clock to strike 12, and see sms and calls pour in (nowadays, your facebook wall gets plastered with birthday wishes), I cling on to the day not wanting it to end. Because, it only means that time is fleeting, and I am getting older.

It is a sobering feeling that each one of us is clipped with an expiry date from the moment we were born. Each birthday brings us closer to that date, and ultimately, to our Maker, if we believe in him.

The question that faced me this year: What have I done with my life?

I feel like I'm not doing enough. I feel like I've messed up. I feel incomplete and inadequate. I feel that I am missing something. I feel that I'm growing older, and that I might not have the strength to accomplish my dreams and goals.

It is a sobering feeling.

What is my birthday wish? That I die finished, being able to accomplish everything that was set in my lot in life and leave behind a legacy. That I seize each moment with passion and live like I'm alive. To not conform to the routine and norm, and settle for plain ordinary.

What is 26 years compared to eternity? a mere vapour in the ocean.

It is a sobering feeling.

human

When hardships stare me in the face, I realize once again, the frailty of my mortal nature. Flesh on bones, with a spirit trapped within. I scream from the inside, but unheard on the outside. The demure countenance masks the inner turmoil of the soul. Maybe Thoreau was right, regarding the state that I am living, a life of quiet desperation.

While typing this, I managed to slip in a couple of minutes with Jung, and turns out I am an ENFJ. If this is true, I am similar to King David of old, as well as, the not-so-newly appointed President, Barack Obama. One of the jobs listed I could do, is a physician. I knew it all along that I should have studied medicine. Somehow, I could see myself as a doctor, but couldn't see how I was going to get there.

I am starting to feel this restless feeling, again. I need a 'reset' button, but I can't find any that's working. All the thoughts of 'if's' and 'what if's' circle my head, forming an intense game of 'police and thief', a Malaysian version of catching. If only I knew answers to life's mysteries. If only...

Now I understand why the public no longer read mainstream news. So much for censorship.

I am tired, and I need some directions. I feel like a headless chicken running around.

like random....random...saying what comes to the top of my head

Happy 21st birthday!! Now you're of legal age to go clubbing:P but, I'm not asking you to OK. Have a great year ahead. May He restore the years the locusts have eaten:) *hugz*



Was having teh-tarik session with my autobot buddies. Meet Bumblebee and Sideswipe. Sideswipe's a wee bit shy...


This is what a bunch of working adults do when life gets too tough...they talk to their robots and have a robo-party. Imagine old farts holding on to their transformers and making funny vehicle noises with their mouth as they swish their robots in the air. So much for being grown-up:p


This were the pack of condoms I saw at the chinese medical hall I was doing a trade sales blitz on. While re-stocking my milk products on the aisle-shelf, I couldn't help but laugh when I saw the brand name. They're using reverse-psychology:)


Have you met Mr Smiley?


All my resolution for losing that flab was gone the instant these evil objects were on my plate....bah...



Actually, I was buying this for my nephew....*nervous grin*
Okokok.I admit. I bought it for me....




Have you heard of Steamed Durians? Neither have I, until 2 nights ago...
You can't taste the fullness of frozen durians. So, we thought defrosting it the only way and means we had...It's just...plain badd...


My dream in the making...
She's gonna go berserk if she sees this here....


My life ambition...


Can you please tell me how to get there?


call me stupid...but I still think Big Apple is the bomb.

my conclusion to this hypothesis, time does fly

It's been slightly more than a year since I stared work in a new company. 16th of June marks my first anniversary in Mead Johnson. It's been a great journey so far. So much to learn, with opportunities to do better. Great colleagues and managers.

This sounds so cliched, but it was almost like yesterday, when I first stepped into that new environment. And so quickly, time has passed. I shudder at the thought that one day, I will realize that I've been working for 30 years...and it's time for retirement.

The older I get, the faster I feel time flies. I have a hunch that when I have kids, time will speed even faster than light...and with a blink of an eye, I will be marrying my kids off.

All these thoughts are scary. What is life? What is time? They are but passing moments.

I am afraid that I might be too caught up with distractions to taste life to the fullest.

God, show me my purpose in Mead Johnson, and help me fulfill that destiny.

How far we've come

Tomorrow will be exactly 1 month since I re-opened up my heart and laid it on the table of transparency. I was clumsy and fumbled for words, producing flowers from thin air like a magician, at the wrong time. But,this time, she said 'yes':) (it's not a proposal, but a journey to get there someday)


Our commitment to give our best to make this work.

Of the months of going through life, and working out our differences, we're still worlds apart from our final destination. But when I look back, we've come a long way since the initial 'hi, i'm so and so, nice to meet you', to the, 'i've got a confession to make, i like you', to the, 'i don't know how to do this, but let's trust God and work this out'. I think, we've grown a bit more.

Thank you for being a part of my life. Thank you for trying. Thank you for bearing with me. Thank you for loving me, with all my faults and inadequacies. Thank you for being you.

Here's to the coming months and years:) Looking forward to every bit of it:)

Love, like a kite

To love, is like flying a kite.
You wait on the wind, and at the right moment, you release your kite into the wind.
The right amount of tension is needed to keep the kite flying.
Too much tension, you drag the kite down, stunting its potential to soar high.
Too slack, and the kite veers off, possibly crashing into the ground.
Space is good too. It shows how high the kite can go.
Lastly, you trust the string to hold up, and keep you attached to your kite.

Life in death

Yesterday, I heard news that someone I knew passed away in the morning. They found him dead in his bed. Reasons of death was unsure, but he probably died in his sleep. Some theoretical causes could be due to chemical imbalance caused by stress.

I hardly know him. All I know is his name and the organization he works for. I met him end of last year, over lunch. We chatted about life and work, the basic introductory topics, sufficient for a decent conversation. And that was it. We never talked again. I saw him now and then, having forgotten his name, but recognizing his face. When I heard so-and-so passed away, I had to jog my memory to place the name to the face.

This blog post isn't so much about his passing. As I mentioned earlier, I hardly know him, let alone be labeled as one of his friends. This whole event reminded me how fragile life is. A great poet once said that our life is as vapor; One moment we live, and in another, we could be gone.

I live with this notion, that I am destined for great things. But who am I to lay such hope? I bet everybody wished they were destined for greatness. Everyone has the inner desire to achieve something great in their life. I have that. And I yearn for fulfillment in the life I live. But sometimes, everything seems mundane and routine. Am I actually going anywhere with all these?

What actually shocked me about the passing of this person was that, he was young. 23 years old, moving on to 24. When I read his memorial site set up by his friends and family, I am awed by the life he lived. Sometimes you find out so much about a person by the testimonials left behind by friends and family at a funeral. Like I said, I hardly know him. But as I was browsing through his testimonials and looking through his timeline, I knew this guy was something; The convictions he lived with, the dreams he lived for, the simplicity of his life, and how unashamed he is of his faith. It's sad that sometimes, the good die young.

I don't know why God took him away. When I look at my life, I know I've been spared so many times. I could have been taken away in a road accident. But still I'm here. I need to see beyond the now, and live a life of purpose. I'm ashamed to say, I've not really lived yet. How would have Jesus done it? The books tell his story. But I'm not so obedient. And my carnal flesh is so loud sometimes.

God, make my life count for something worthwhile. While there is still breath in me, teach me of this deeper relationship with you, that transcends the church walls, the religious views, the social stigma.

To fly a kite

In all my childhood, I've had only a few recollection of flying a kite. I've owned a really beautiful cotton kite, but never had a chance to fly it. I don't know where it is now.

My most vivid kite flying experience was with a 50 sen kite that I bought, made of plastic bag. Running the whole length of beach to set the kite on it's take-off only left me stuck half-body in the quicksand, and a missing sandal. Plus, the plastic tore off the kite. So there goes my kite flying experience.

This Chinese New Year, I noticed the kite man with his stall full of lovely kites. From eeny weeny ones to ginormous, 2-handed control kites. I already had a small kite from him. I decided I wanted a bigger one.

The smaller kite

The bigger kite

My sisters and I quickly set off to fly the 2 kites. It took a while, before the kite flew. Getting the kite off the ground was the tricky part, especially when the wind is minimal. Once it gets higher, it's a piss, I mean, a piece of cake.



Within minutes, both kites were high in the air. There's this beauty in flying a kite; the tension between the strings, the right amount of pull and release, the height the kite can achieve. It's all beautiful.

I learned that in order for the kite to achieve greater heights, it needs to resist the wind, tilt enough to get the leverage, and boost its way up. And the kite can only soar as high as the string allows it to.

Sometimes, we as humans, wish for freedom, like a flying kite. But rules and restrictions are in place, similar to the string attached to the kite. But without that string, the kite would probably get detached and blown away, and crash. It got me thinking that rules and restrictions in our lives are there to give us enough healthy tension for us to soar. Without it, we might lose ourselves, and crash. But if we know how to make full use of it, we are able to soar higher and higher.

Out of the philosophical mode, I lost the bigger kite that day:( The wind was too strong and it swept it away from our hands. I could only watch helplessly as the wind took the kite, together with the string out of my hands and over the sea. It was a heavy feeling of losing a beutiful kite. I was really sad. But that's life. We get something, we try our best to fly it, and sometimes, we lose it:(

Good news is, in life, sometimes we get second chances. I know the kite man will always be there with his stall full of colorful kites:) And for a small fee, I can purchase a small piece of happiness:)

2008 at a glance

2008 has been a go-do-it year, without much space to stop and think. But before the final hours of the year passed, I managed to scribble some stuff down, and in no particular order, these are some of the events that has transpired in the last 365 days.

SWITCHFOOT LIVE IN KUALA LUMPUR

The first song I heard from them was 'Dare You To Move', and I was an immediate fan. They were barely big back then, but deep down, I knew they would make it big someday. Never in my life did I expect this band to visit Malaysia. When I heard they'll be docking on our shores, I nearly ran naked round the town in euphoria. Ok, I was kidding with the naked part. They did an awesome show. This is on of my life dream coming to past.

UNDER HEADLIGHTS

Earlier in 2008, my previous band, Oneted, disbanded. 2 months after the 'breakup', Under Headlights was born. Joni is the missing link we needed all these while. We've recorded 2 singles so far. Stay tuned for more:) I'm excited each time I think of it, and it's another life dream waiting to happen.

MEAD JOHNSON

I switched jobs middle of the year from a small china man company to a multinational company. And I can see the vast difference. It was a major decision to change, but it was worth the shot. I was getting restless from the routing, and change was calling out. This is part of my crazy team, doing some 70's dance, together with my boss, and his boss. I find that there's some use for my singing and dancing talents here:p (I don't sing well, and can't dance for nuts)

STORY OF THE YEAR

This is another of my favorite band. They're fun to watch. If you want to see a power-packed, energetic and crazy show, it's gotta be them. And they came to Singapore. Close enough for me. I paid RM200 for a ticket, drove down 4 hours into Singapore in the middle of the night, sleeping in the car waiting for the hostel to open. All of that was worth every sen. I couldn't get a band picture of them, but at least I got a personal photo with their rocking guitarist, Ryan. They redefine a rock concert with their backflips, guitar flinging and throwing. Check them out.

KOTA KINABALU

One of my 2008 destination list was KK. I never had the chance to visit since I was in uni. But since I joined MJ, they organized a symposium in KK. Even though I didn't get to go around much, or climb Mount K, at least I got to stay in the 5-star Shangrila Hotel, you know what I'm saying? That's another destination ticked off in my 'places to visit' list:) I still hope to climb Mount K and laze at their lovely beaches.

ISLAND HOLIDAY (LANG TENGAH)

I've never had an island get-away, or snorkeling for that matter. So, in desperation for an escape from work life, a few of us made a get-away to Lang Tengah. We literally had the whole island to ourselves. It was lovely. I enjoyed every bit of it. The best part, this was right after my trip to KK. I took a flight back to KLIA from KK, and hopped into a cab to LCCT, and then off to the island. Talk about a jet-set life. I miss chilling on the beach, catching the night breeze, watching the stars fill the sky, and knowing who made them. It was awesome! I love snorkeling.

LANGKAWI

Langkawi is another of my island destinations. I've never in my 25 years of existence been to Langkawi. It's not a 'must go' place,but it would look good on my 'been there, done that' list. This trip was another of my company's get-away programs for the staff. Didn't get to walk the sky bridge, but I managed to see eagles, and lots of huge fish. Not forgetting duty-free alcohol, which rendered me disgusted with that substance.

VOTING (MARCH 8)

I'm now eligible to vote. I did my duty as a citizen. There's no such thing as clean politics, but whichever offers the lesser of 2 evils. I think this was the day that Malaysia really woke up. And I'm happy to a part of a historic moment. Funny thing, I always had this impression that voting was such a grand event. But honestly, it was such a quick process, that it was over before I could say 'superduperfrangelisticespialidocious'.

BEST OF 80'S CONCERT

A friend won some tickets to an 80's concert in the Arena of Stars. They brought in acts such as Johny Hates Jazz, Bananarama, Howard Jones, Paul Young,and Limahl. not really my cup of tea, but it was alright. It was a day where I experienced the songs of our fathers. And it was something crazy that I would never have done. Well, love (or what you think it is) makes you do crazy thing. Did I mention I had to drive down Gentings at 2am?

SINGAPORE

I love this city. It's what Malaysia could have been, in terms of infrastructure and development. Since Story of the Year was coming down to Singapore, I decided to drive down and visit around. Stayed in some backpackers place on the borders of Geylang. No hanky panky going on. It was cheap lodging. When in Singapore, always visit the music shops:)

KITE FLYING

I've never flown a kite before. I had a nice kite given to me when I was 8. It was a typical diamond shaped kite, made of cotton with a nice tail to it. Never used it, and I don't know where is it now. When I was 10, I tried to fly a kite, running down the beach front like a mad man, only to find myself submerged to my waist in quicksand, and loosing one slipper in the process. This time round, my kite took off within seconds of purchase. It must be the wind:)

ELECTRIC GUITAR (JULIET)

This is the first guitar I purchased with my own cash. It's a beauty to look at. Got some glitch with the frets, but based on reviews, people would actually pay that kinda money just to hang it as a display coz she's so pretty! It's a hollow body, Korean made Cort.

25
I turned 25. Quarter-life crisis.