facing me 'fear' :)

just back from the Last CF meeting for year '03/04 :( kinda of nostalgic to see my graduating seniors...pretty soon, they won't be around here in MMU.sighz.time sure flies. note to self : time is catching up, so better get to know as many ppl as possible and build great friendships.

anyways, got to get back to studying....and try to 'enjoy my studies', in the wise words of Jane'nette:P
the day just zoomed past, and here i am again, staring out at the blackness...the night crawls into my room.sighz.this is the most peaceful moment of my day, but somehow, the peace disappears too fast:P only to be intruded by the rays of the sun piercing through my curtains:) it's a good thing though;) coz if i'm still awake then, i'll have 'peace session' part 2. jsut the silence together with the pick glowing sky, then the chirping of the birds...dawn has come.

oks.me straying away already:p what i wanted to say here is actually this. during the past weekend, life was a bit more peaceful, coz i was in my 'hideout'- melaka. was really refreshed and rejuvenated while i was back. and i came back to cyber ready to take on the world:) however, the only thing missing was my 'fear'. u know the feeling when ur all ready for battle, all geared up and spirits all boosted up....but then there's no enemy? u feel on top of the world....but then when u see the enemy....u suddenly get the chills and then u suddenly 'kecut'. anyone can relate to that? well, that's how i felt. was so prepared, but then my 'fear' was absent. so i was on top of the world for awhile. was going through my mind how i would react if i were to confront my 'fear'. so i played the strategy over and over again in my mind, gearing myself mentally on how to confront my 'fear':) in the meantime, i tried not to think about my 'fear'....just filled my free time with my preparation for the finals. and today, out of the blue as i was leaving the library, i suddenly bumped in to my 'fear'! was shocked at first, coz i didn't know how to react. the 'fear' looked pretty cute though;) with all the half-tied hair and formal coat:) ..looked pretty professional:) what do u do if your 'fear' looking cute and nice comes your way? nopes....i didn't run. i jsut stood there and had a good look:) now that's what i called staring 'fear' in the eye;) said hi! and had some small chat. was pretty surprised that somehow, the fear didn't get to me. somehow i was pretty kewl, and relaxed. It must be God! hehe! been asking God to be able to face my 'fear' without fear in my heart. getting me so far? and after that, 'fear' just walked away after some sweet complimentaries:) somehow, i could just walk on without turning back, without digging out past events, without feeling weird, without blowing the opportunity. as i walked to the car, i thanked God for strength to face my 'fear' and walk away smiling, without a heaviness of heart:) i did it! He did it! Still reminiscing me 'fear' 's sweet smile and pleasant countenance:D a refreshing sight;) how often do ur 'fear's put a smile to you face?

i better not get too carried away:) jsut that i feel that i've managed to accomplish something. all the best to me as i start trying to study now:P

God i need Your strength once again:) gimme gimme:D