kissing rock bottom.....not the Rock's bottom:p

ever felt like your on top of the world, coz u just accomplished something big in your life, and then, the next moment, BAM!!!! you're in the dirt again? kissing rock bottom?

after a 'victorious' blog session last night, i woke up finding myself in the rut again this morning. praying and asking God for strength not to succumb to the sitaution. just when i thought i had made it thru, just when i thought that i had finally won.....BAM BAM BAM! you're down again:p sighz. the ironies of life. sometimes, i wonder whether is it GOd's way of telling me that :LIFE: is a constant battle. we win some and we lose some. but ultimately, i guess He's reminding me, not by My strength, but by His strength:p

funny isn't it;) i woke up with a fresh start......everything was going on well, till i heard the news, nothing big, but somehow, i felt that it was gonna get to me sooner or later. asked God for the courage to carry on and strength to hang in there. and headed off to the library for some studying. was still going on well till evening came. and that's when i gave in.sighz, how weak i am:(

this is how i picture it: imagine me surrendering my life before God, and laying all my burdens at the altar of surrender. for a moment, things look nice and good, but then, when troubles dawn, i'm suddenly filled with the temptation of running to the altar and grabbing back my life,my problems and pain. anyone can relate to that? i'm so tempted to take matters back into my hands when i feel that God isn't doing anything.but i'm still learning that HE does things in HIs time:) lately, this temptation has been waiting on my doorstep, and i've been praying for the courage to let God have His way in my life. it's more like a battle of the mind, soul, spirit and body:P my mind tells me to just do it, but my heart tells me to be patient and wait on God. yeah, something like that.

really wanna thank God for friends who are there to always support me, even when i'm all shitty:P you know who you are:) thanks a bunch yeah! at this point, friends play a big part in me keeping myself together. you library mates really rock!

anyways, beside the lib, i had a jog with some buddies all the way to the playground in front of streetmall. dun ask me why:P was conned into it:P anyways, good to finally sweat it all out. then had a quick dinner in HB3. no money, had to borrow from some buddy. after then, i wanted to go back, but then decided to drop by the Theater Presentation:The Amazing Race in the MPH. The play was directed by Kester:) had some nice laughs. quite a good play, except , i couldn't really hear much of the voices. anyways, i made a bet with a friend that we wouldn't leave till the end of the show( coz prior to this, she said that we all would go and see for only awhile, then head back. YEAH RITE!) so, i won the bet! now she owes me something;) muahaha!

after that i went to visit a friend who was darn sick.felt really sad, coz i wish i could ease her discomfort, but there was nothing much i could do. and after a few hours of being here....i guess my presense kinda irked her:P sighz. was trying so hard to make sure she was comfy, but maybe i was getting in the way of her sleep.sighz:( hope ur fever subsides soon and your tummy stops stretching:) cheer up yeah! you'll get back up again;)

oks....gotta run....GOd, when will i find rest:-? gimme strength.......gimme courage.....gimme gimme!
pleaseeeeeeeee