Dry...in need of refilling

This picture was done by a very talented young guy. Really admire his skill.

Dude! Sorry for not asking your permission earlier, but I really want to post this up. Hope you don't mind;)

My desktop picture.

A reminder of how dry I am, and how much I need
You

from above

I wish I had taken this photo. But I don't have a plane and a really good camera:p So I'm borrowing this picture:D

Life is about
perspectives... How do you see yours?

prayer

Lord, let my heart and passion be at the right place

new

It's been a long time since I posted anything. Been doing my blog rounds, and stumbled upon a few blogs that are really great and interesting. After looking at these blogs, I feel unworthy to have a blog. Their writing is so good, and they're blog layout is just fantastic. Kinda makes me wanna abandon my blog and cry:(

Anyways, my test is coming up, and I spent 2 hours last nite studying the wrong subject. What a dumb a**! I didn't even notice it till today. sigh!

I'm currently on this path of learning. Too fast for me to keep up with. But I'm still here. Each time I fall, I get up. Each time I tire, I don't give up. And that's all that matters. No matter what comes my way, I will NEVER give up. I promise myself that! Pick myself up, no matter how many times I eat dirt. If I don't pick myself up, who will?

Discovering God in new ways. So much to say, but I don't know how to form the words. But it's getting better. Though the down moments are there, I look up and I see the good times:)
It's always so important to lift up my eyes, to see who holds my Today! I'm learning. I'm excited!

Defeated

It's been a long nite. I lost. Defeated. Again. Can anyone see me? Just when I felt I was stronger, I'm down there again. God, is this some kind of joke? How long can this go on? How long before my enemies overtake me? How long before I'm reduced to nothing?

In the waiting room

So Real

Let Your rain fall
Wash over my soul
Let Your peace flow
Come and make me whole

Lord I hunger
For more of You
This Encounter
Just to be with You

Break my heart God
Make me all Yours

I want to feel You
So real like the air that I breathe
I want to see You, O Lord
For all that You are
I want Your love
To consume, consume me
Make my life count
Make it Yours
For the world to see
You in Me

I long to be
Where You want me to be
To be Your hands
To be Your feet
To beat Your heart beat
To be the life
The life of Jesus
Living inside

words and music : wee liem

Let Go, Let God!

"Let Go and Let God". Sound familiar? I've heard this lots of times. But it will remain empty and meaningless if we don't take it literally.

To let go, is a conscious act. If it was 'unconsciously' done, the better word would have been, 'slipped'. Letting go speaks of releasing something close to your heart. Sometimes, we let go of small things, sometimes, the big things. Either way, it might hurt.

For a normal man, what happens when we let go? When we remove something from it's place, what should be there to replace the empty spot? We could always leave it blank, but somehow, the emptiness there will only remind us of the thing we had. Like a missing book on a packed shelf is always noticeable. Many times, when people let got of something, they just leave the empty slot, empty. And that's when rubbish starts to fill it up. That's when letting go becomes bad.

I thank God that I have God to count on. For this cause, I know I can let go, and let God. I let God fill that emptiness. I let God work in that gap. It's always a temptation to drive God out of the gap and just leave it empty, like a tribute. But what for? Everyday, I live under grace. I carry on, letting God do that work in the gap. To mend whatever needs repair. Submit. Constant surrender. To continually place the living sacrifice on the altar.

God, see me through.

reminder for today

It's a Beautiful Day ...

Tribute

Why did you have to go?
Was it God? Was it a mistake?
You came into my life out of the blue
And in that same shade of blue, you're leaving
Have I failed?
I tried.
Your friendship meant much to me
But since you're gone
I've got to accept it
Face the facts of reality
You've been a blessing
You will always be one
You turned the lights on when things were dark
Eventhough I'm still in the grey
I had a reason to laugh then
Under the stars
I've asked God, "why?"
He gives and takes away
You were here for a season
For a reason
I'm still finding out
Your absence is strongly felt
Your disappearance has left a gap
I wish you could still be here
I wish you could be happy
I remember the comfort you gave
The joy you brought
The catch up sessions
That made things bright
I'll miss you
Take good care
God bless

reminder for today

I'm NOT ready!!!!

Battlefield journal : Entry 4

I have this notice board in my room back in Melaka that is cluttered up with all kinda things. I stepped into my room today and gave the board a glance. Out of all the papers stuck to the board, one tiny blue piece of paper stuck out. I walked closer to it to find that it was a piece of advice given to me by my youth pastor back in 1997. It says:

Remember these tips when you are facing trouble:

1.Hold steady when you are faced with the fire of trials. God is putting steel in your soul.

2.Know that God has your best interest at heart and He loves you.

3.Trust the Lord as he shapes you to be more like Jesus. God is faithful to complete the work He has begun in you.

4.Turn to God, not away from God when you go toe-to-toe with difficulties.

5.Expect God to work all things out for good, even though you can't imagine how that's possible.

As I read that, it touched my heart. It's 2005 already. This paper has been there for 8 years, and after this long, it finally spoke to me.

When I was given this piece of advice back in my schooling days, I had no problems. I'm serious! Everything was going well for me. Whatever obstacles that came my way quickly faded as soon as it sprouted. I was joyful all the time. I never had sadness or depression lasting longer than a day. I fully believed that I WILL not let the sun go down on any conflict. I made my peace before nightfall. All the other problems in life, I didn't have to face. So, for the first 18 years of my life, everything was great. I was able to focus on other people's problems. I was able to help them out. Coz, I was close to problem-free state. I understood pain, only to a certain extent. I understood depression, only in my studies. That's about it. It was a good thing for me. I was able to reach out to those hurting, and be there for them. Since I wasn't bogged down with problems, people could come to me and I could be there for them. So, the piece of paper still stuck on my notice board was not relevant to me then.

But today, as I looked hard at the paper, it was so clear to me why it had stayed on that board till now. After 8 long years, those words speak life to me. How come I've never noticed it before? Ever since I came into uni, my life has been a wave, tossing in the ocean. I've learnt so much, but I've also gone through so much. Such a price to pay for a decent education. I've asked God whether I really had to go through all this s*** to get His point. To learn what I need to survive. At this point in my life, everythings so messed up. Nothing is certain. All the clutter is getting to me. And I think God had to orhestrate all this for me to learn. Maybe He didn't do it. But He allowed it to happen. Maybe. It really sucks when you know you're up against God. You can't win. You can never fight against God and win. And that sucks! I'm learning to not be against Him, but for Him. To be on His side. It's taking awfully long.

I'm in a place where I can't run anymore. I'm in a corner where I know there is no escape. My only hope is surrender. That's what it is now. Coz whatever I do, I know I'm up against the unseen. Whatever I try to take into my hands, it's just too big for me to carry alone. I can struggle all I want, but I won't go anywhere, not even in a million years. I'm in that painful state of learning a hard lesson. To know that whatever you do will bring you nowhere, till you surrender. Doesn't that feel like crap? I'm here, facing God, knowing no matter how much I hate this, I have to surrender. Surrender to Him. To mold me into what He wants me to be. Like breaking a wild horse so that it can be of good use. It's good, but the process is not nice! Trust! That's something I'm here learning. Trust in God, Trusting God. All that. Trust! So hard!

I'm in that corner, apprehended. I've got no choice but to Surrender and then Trust. 2 simple words, yet so deep the implication. I'm struggling to grasp this. It's like holding on to the invisible.

God, help me.

CyberChristmas & NOC3

I'm back in Melaka typing this out. Feeling really sick. The cough and flu finally got to me. Could feel it coming. Darn!

It's been a hectic few days this past week. Tuesday was CyberChristmas '05. Wednesday was CyberChristmas Exhibition. Thursday was Night of Celebration 3 (NOC3). One thing after the other.

I gotta say that God deserves all the praise and glory for CyberChristmas. Until, the last moment, there were still alot of things that were not fully prepared due to the complications of trying to sync all 3 events together with the PA system and lightings. And there were lots of obstacles along the way. All of us were praying hard. And God proved to us once again that He will provide. And He did. At the end of the whole night, all that was in my heart was just praises to God. For only He could have made everything fall into place:) The play this year was awesome! I loved how Chern Liang videod the shots and how he used music to create the desired effect. I believe we have a famous movie director in the making:) It was the first time that I saw the completed play. Prior to this, all I saw was just bits and pieces. But as I sat there in the crowd, watching a new concept of play in action, part stage acting, part recorded acting, it was totally awesome. And the message about Jesus was so stright-forward! Like, IN YOUR FACE! To know what I mean, get a hold of the vcd, or maybe Dvd:P

As for the dance, it was perfect! I never could imagine anyone dancing to Dare You To Move by Switchfoot. But you guys did it. And it rocked. As for the other 2 songs, I was mesmerized by the complicated steps that took place. You guys did great!

Lastly, for the band! We did it! I'm proud of you guys! We pulled it of, by God's grace! Everything was excellent, maybe a lil slack due to my voice. But all in all, it was great!

NOC3 was another head-spinner! It was as good as last year, if not, even better. The team this year really did a tremendous job. Awesome! Too bad I can't put it all into words, so get a hold on the vcd:P I hope they have one;)

Now for some rest!

Battlefield journal : Entry 3

status : victory

Today, I gave up my 'drugs'. God, if You say so, I'll do it. This is really boggling me. As I discarded them, I felt I might need them someday, but I felt that if I don't give them up, God cannot work in me. If I depend more on my 'drugs' than on my God, what kinda faith is that?

When I am weak, You are strong. I'm learning to say this with conviction. I'm learning the art of obedience. God, with You, I can do all things. Help me through.

Battlefield journal : Entry 2

Status : defeat

Attacks came last nite. I was unprepared. The moment I ended my prayer, I was hit. God, somehow it feels funny that each time I pray for victory, the exact fearful situation happens, and I react to it...in the wrong way. I lose. I let the enemy's grip tighten. I pray for something, and the exact opposite happens. It's not getting easier. I have friends who stand with me, but for how long? They're human and soldiers like me. They can fall as I do. Where will my hope be then? God, I need You.

Faith fuels my passion to clinch this victory. As I lay in bed, I saw this poster that was given to me by joshua, that said : Faith sees the invisible, Believes the unbelieveable, & Achieves the impossible. And for a moment, I felt hope. I'm gonna win this battle over my life. Am I not in an impossible situation? Then, I need faith to see me through. Faith in a faithful God.

I'm still shaken by the after-effects. How could I have done what I did? It's not me to fall that way. But I did. I'm ashamed. God forgive me.

I'm learning from the Guidebook about the weapons of this warfare.

Ephesians 6:14-18
14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

I've read this so many times. It's time that I geared myself up. The enemy slumbers no more. As I put up a resistance, they know, and they want to break me down. I have to be constantly aware that every moment is a point of defeat or victory.

Battlefield journal : Entry 1

The New Year is here. But the aura of tragedy is thick in the air. The picture of thousands dead along the shoreline sickens me. This New Year saw me in a battlefield. A battle of my life. THE battle FOR my life. A war to claim back what was mine...what was ME. I'm unprepared. Ill-equipped. But here I am, fighting for my life, my freedom and my destiny. This year, I have a mission, to claim back my inheritance. To get back what the devil has stolen from me. To find what I was made for. Purpose.

This war I'm waging is against things that are intangible. I can't see it, but it coarse through my veins. It's a war againt me, to be ME! Confusing? What more me? I don't understand, God! It's all a blur to me. But, if You say so, I'll do it. If giving up this, and this and this, will allow You to do That, That and That...I'll do it. I believe Lord, help my unbelief. I'm weak, but You are my strength. I'm hopeless, You are my hope. My faith is on You.

1John 2:16
16For all that is in the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--is not of the Father but is of the world.

This are the 3 elements I'm up against, my 3 enemies that I have to conquer. The lust of the flesh. The lust of the eyes. The pride of life. Though only 3, they have summoned a vast army against me, within me. I'm overwhelmed. I'm weak. The irony of this battle, is a battle I'm waging against myself. A fight against me( the me without God) to be ME ( a God-centered life). It's a call to war that I have been putting on hold for a long time. The enemy has widened their territory in my life till there is little left of me. Their influence over my life is my mistake of not attacking earlier when the command was given. I live to face the consequences.

Ephesians 6: 10-13
10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

This war is governed by the unseen. I have to use my heart, a weak one. It is so clear who's the mastermind behind the 3 elements.

I stand here not alone. I'm weak, but my God is Big. He has already won. I have to make Him proud. So much to accomplish.

A Soldier's Prayer

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve,
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked God for health, that I might do greater things,
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy,
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men,
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life,
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for - but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am among men, most richly blessed.

Found on the body of a valiant Southern soldier, 1861-1865Known but to God

If I were taken away today, would I be known to have lived with passion?

God be with me.

Power in a Dream!

Blessed New Year everyone!

It's 2005 already, another year, another chance to live life.
It's time to LIVE, as always. Just being dramatic about the turn of the new year. So many resolutions to make, yet so hard to keep. I can't really remember exactly what my resolutions were last year. I went home for Christmas, and in my room, I saw this 1999 resolution still stuck on my notice board. Surprisingly, a lot of the resolutions of that year, are also resolutions I wanted to make this year. Meaning, I've not managed to accomplish them. sighZ. But life goes on. We make what me have to make.

I've learned a few things since I came to MMU, since I started attending Acts Church. And the one important thing is : Dreams!

Through a special people placed in my life, I've discovered that dreams are not just visuals you get when you are asleep. More than that, is the picture you see even with your eye open! I have this quote I made displayed on the start-up screen of my handphone; wake up and start dreaming!

Dreams is what drives us today, and fuels our tommorrow! Unknown to many, dreams are not nightly entertainments while we sleep. People who go far in this life, who have achieved more than possible, have moments where those dreams were birthed in their mind's eye. If you can dream it, you can achieve it. Dreams is what makes us delve into what others say impossible.

I've learnt the power in having a dream. I have found that all it takes to drive you further and further into your destiny, is just one simple dream. What more, if it is a G0d-given dream? God has placed dreams in each of our hearts. It's something that each of us have to discover. And seize it!

I'm still learning and finding more and more of myself, in the dreams that have been placed in my heart by God, even before I was born. It's a doscovery of a lifetime. I'm thinking some is impossible, some even frightening. I'm seeing some things differently, because if my dreams.

What are my dreams? I'm finding out.

Believe in your dreams, and you will discover who you are!