:)

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Battlefield journal : Entry 1

The New Year is here. But the aura of tragedy is thick in the air. The picture of thousands dead along the shoreline sickens me. This New Year saw me in a battlefield. A battle of my life. THE battle FOR my life. A war to claim back what was mine...what was ME. I'm unprepared. Ill-equipped. But here I am, fighting for my life, my freedom and my destiny. This year, I have a mission, to claim back my inheritance. To get back what the devil has stolen from me. To find what I was made for. Purpose.

This war I'm waging is against things that are intangible. I can't see it, but it coarse through my veins. It's a war againt me, to be ME! Confusing? What more me? I don't understand, God! It's all a blur to me. But, if You say so, I'll do it. If giving up this, and this and this, will allow You to do That, That and That...I'll do it. I believe Lord, help my unbelief. I'm weak, but You are my strength. I'm hopeless, You are my hope. My faith is on You.

1John 2:16
16For all that is in the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--is not of the Father but is of the world.

This are the 3 elements I'm up against, my 3 enemies that I have to conquer. The lust of the flesh. The lust of the eyes. The pride of life. Though only 3, they have summoned a vast army against me, within me. I'm overwhelmed. I'm weak. The irony of this battle, is a battle I'm waging against myself. A fight against me( the me without God) to be ME ( a God-centered life). It's a call to war that I have been putting on hold for a long time. The enemy has widened their territory in my life till there is little left of me. Their influence over my life is my mistake of not attacking earlier when the command was given. I live to face the consequences.

Ephesians 6: 10-13
10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

This war is governed by the unseen. I have to use my heart, a weak one. It is so clear who's the mastermind behind the 3 elements.

I stand here not alone. I'm weak, but my God is Big. He has already won. I have to make Him proud. So much to accomplish.

A Soldier's Prayer

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve,
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked God for health, that I might do greater things,
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy,
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men,
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life,
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for - but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am among men, most richly blessed
.

Found on the body of a valiant Southern soldier, 1861-1865Known but to God

If I were taken away today, would I be known to have lived with passion?

God be with me.



No comments: