Happyness is...

Happyness is...

Having a hot Mc Donald's Sausage McMuffin at 7am on Jalan Bukit Bintang

It's funny how Jalan Bukit Bintang slowly comes alive from its slumber to be that bustling city street we all know.

Just a thought, why do they call it a sausage, when it is actually a burger patty? And why do they call it a muffin, when it is actually a burger?

You can't get everything

I will be heading to Lumut in a couple of hours time. Where is Lumut? It's in Perak. For those wondering where is Perak, just google it up. Gonna be a day trip to the military camp hospital. 4 hours drive to and another 4 hours drive back.

What I'm going to miss about this job is the traveling.

During my past 1 year and 7 months in this company, I've been to Johor (Batu Pahat, Johor Bahru, Muar), Melaka, Negeri Sembilan (Seremban), Selangor (like yeah), Pahang (Kuantan, Temerloh), Terengganu (Kemaman, Kuala Terengganu), Kelantan (Kota Bharu), Perak (Taiping, Lumut, Teluk Intan), Pulau Pinang (Island, Seberang Jaya) and Kedah (Sg. Petani, Alor Setar). That's pretty much the whole of Malaysia, with the exception of Perlis, Sabah and Sarawak. Though some of the journeys are tiring (imaging driving for 9 hours to Kelantan) it has been fun. I get to sightsee and play while I work. I get to taste the local food and enjoy their beaches. (shhhhh! don't tell my boss)

If only I had enough time to visit all those places one last time before I make the switch and be confined to Kajang, and Putrajaya and Seremban and Kajang, Putrajaya and Seremban and Kajang (you get the idea).

Gearing myself for the jump.

I need this.

God, I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

Maybe I've stopped dreaming. Maybe I've stopped living.
Going where the current takes me.
My daily finishing lines are deadlines and expectations.
Then, it's nothing. Void. Empty.
Change is always happening. Constant change within the tiny circuit of my existence.
But is this all? Is this it?
I know, change is constant. But if change only happens within the same sequence, it becomes routine.

I need to dream again....

Sometimes it's hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can't see
To reach my destiny
I want to take control but I know better

Forget the fear it's just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust

Fireflight - Unbreakable

funeral for a friend

"Death puts life into perspective"

Yup, it does. Life is like a vapor. One moment you have it, and the next instant, you might not. Fragile. Volatile.

People die everyday, big deal. But when it happens closer to home, that's a different story. Suddenly, it becomes your story. It used to be the loss of someone's parent, or someone's friend. The feeling is distant. Now, it's actually, my friend. It's closer to home. Almost the same age. Young people should never have to die.

I actually know this person on a personal level. I remember Christmas presents. I remember the chats. Graduated. Lost touch for a bit. And then, in an sms, she's gone.

It's sobering, and humbling at the same time. I was on a week's trip covering the east-coast. Battling roads with monstrous vehicles and crazy drivers, in the pouring rain and rough terrain. Trying to rush, destination, to destination. It could have been me. I could have met my Maker. But, I was spared.

"There are 2 things in life you can't run away from: Death & Taxes"

why can't it just be taxes...

I think, a father should never have to bury his child....

Cleavage on Demand

Today, I heard the darnest thing in a long time (Other than JJ & Rudy's slot on Hitz.fm). I know we live in an 'instant' generation. Everything now is instant, or quick, fast, zippy, zap..etc,etc. From instant noodles, to 30-minutes photo-printing.

But, instant cleavage? That's gotta be the wackiest thing I heard today. I overheard it on the radio while driving, and I literally laughed out loud. The advertisement was a Triumph promo with the tag-line "cleavage on demand". Can't recall in exact words, but the idea thrown across is that girls (and some 'men'), no matter the size of their 'assets', can have a 'nice' cleavage with their latest 'wonderbra'. So, it's cleavage, anytime you want. I don't want to go into details, but it's really funny when you hear the word 'cleavage' on national radio mentioned so many times!

So, if you are one of those, who need to whip up a storm of a 'cleavage', there is hope waiting in Triumph stores near you. (applies to men too)

I don't really fancy blogging about stuff like this, but this is really funny.

Questions you dare to ask yourself

"what do you really want?"

That is something I find hard to answer. Maybe cause I'm afraid of what I really want. The mind has the capability to fool yourself, to twist facts and logic.

Sometimes, I dare not say what I really want, because I know it takes a lot of work to get it. Nothing in life is easy.

I wish I knew, what I really wanted. I wish I was courageous enough to say what I really want, and go after it.

God, help me.

a novel

If I could, I would write you a horror novel where the main character is a person that has insomnia. He dreams he is sleeping, but he isn't. Wait, he shouldn't be dreaming, because, he can't sleep in the first place. Anyways, maybe he does sleep for short periods, but in those disturbed few minutes, he dreams he is sleeping a long, long time. No...how can that be....

I don't think I can do horror... *sigh*

But if it shockingly horrifies you and give you kicks, I would.

old-fashioned

Not everything is ideal, though we wish it to be.
So, we live and make the best of it.
Though it may not be ideal, it can still be beautiful:)

Sometimes, we just have to do it like how our parents did,
The old-fashioned way.

..you're my dream, please come true..

Memo

Note to self:

Don't get ahead of yourself. Things may not be what it seems now, or maybe it really is what it seems:) Either way, watch out. Be on your guard. Time will uncover answers. But while time is still available, enjoy the moment. Fleeting moments. Smell the roses. It's all good.
But remember, don't get ahead of yourself.

The way to the toilet is through here

Let's play a game. See if you can spot the similarities in these 3 situations:

1) Colleagues farewell dinner
2) Ex-uni mate's birthday dinner
3) Church member's birthday dinner

Yup, it's about food. And, the obvious, it's about dinner! But those are wrong answers. The real answer is, relationship/friendship.

It so happens that all 3 falls on the same night. It's just one me vs 3 different locations around the same time. I would love to attend all three, so I try. I manage to squeeze time for all three, not missing out the most important part of each.

So little time, so much to keep up with. Why can't they see that? Why can't they understand? Why are they not so forgiving? It's not on purpose that I miss out on them. I try, but I can only do so much. Their sarcastic welcomes and sinister comments leaves a bad aftertaste. Some people have already given up trying to strike a balance. What's the use? You still get labeled and branded by the 'unforgiving', anyways. So might as well screw it big time and leave no room for return. On my side, I try. As hard as I possibly can. At the end of the day, isn't it all about people? People = relationships. And sometimes, People = Sh*t.

I can only try so much, and please a few. But as long as my conscience is clear, I'll have to let it be. If they don't understand, it's alrite.

To top the cake of disparity, there the few that I try to maintain contact, but come up against a wall. What's the use? I try. I make small talk, in hopes that it will lead to deeper conversations. I ask their well-being. I try to connect from before. All I get in return is monosyllabic answers, with a dash of silence. It pierces. I know I was wrong in the past, but can we make amends? If you maintain this way, while I try to change, who's in the wrong now? I'm not like that anymore. I've changed. Is there room for grace? Or would I always be facing the judgment seat of erring beyond mortal forgiveness. I ask, but you don't. I inquire, but you stay silent. What kind of relationship is this?

*useless, a chasing after the wind*

On another note, I'm glad that you're all right:)

Good Friday, indeed it was.

Good Friday was good.
But, religious duties and spiritual experiences aside, it was really, indeed Gud Friday!

*long drive, teary eyes, chipsmore, raindrops, hot soup, cold weather, chilly wind, toilet break, short queue, standing among 'older' folks, waiting, waiting, cheering, bright lights, no videos please, people getting into the groove, big hair, getting high on singing, unfamiliar songs, a touch of 80s, good performer, weird music, pretty boys, pet boys, walking alongside the rain, starbucks, fog, 20km/h, long drive, curfew, safe *

thank you:)

The Friday it was Good

I don't really recall much about Good Fridays, as in, the personal happenings of this very day in years past. When I think hard enough, I remember bits and pieces of Easter events and Good Friday services. That's about it.

So,what's so good about Friday? I am brought back to this question every year. As cliched as it sounds, it is indeed the basis for what I belief in today. It's a story of redemptive grace. Until today, I am still trying to comprehend the magnitude of this event. It is beyond me. What if there was no Good Friday? What would I be today?

Questions aside, there is this longing, a close shot to calling it an ache, deep inside me, seeking significance and purpose. I think man was created with an innate desire to achieve success and live a fulfilled life. How is success determined? What is the measure of fulfillment?

Compare this to the saviour who hung on the cross for me. What is all my struggles compared to the Son of God hanging there in my place? Where does success fit in, or even fulfillment? How can I bring myself to be so selfish, when I knew that someone gave up all, so that I can live life, abundantly.

Yet, I still live life, as if it were completely mine. Living in the abundance of the flesh. Living as if I bought this life with my pathetic dollars and cents. Living, ignoring the grace that was shown me. Living, oblivious to the man whose bleeding sides was supposed to be that of mine. Living, sinking into my pity, when grace is there.

Worlds apart. I know. Yet, you still came. Knowing that I would live like this. You still gave. Knowing I would taste you, and still dabble with the glitters of this world. You still took my place...

I hope I will be worthy...No, you already made me worthy. I just hope this light will shine a brighter meaning in my darkened life. I hope I can bring myself to live in that reckless abundance you have already purchased. I have the tickets in my hand, but my feet is not bringing me to the entrance of that life. Another taste of eternity, and I hope I can leave it all behind for that road that leads to where you are.

I am more certain than ever, I need Jesus, the reason why Friday is so good.

Head Over Heel (In this Life)
Switchfoot

Head over here and take me
Head over heels and aching
When I told you I was yours,
I was yours

In this life you're the one place I call home
In this life you're the feeling I belong
In this life you're the flower and the thorn
You're everything that's fair in love and war

I'm coming down like a gun shot
In all these battles that I've fought
You're the mark I'm aiming for
I was yours

In this life you're the one place I call home
In this life you're the feeling I belong
In this life you're the flower and the thorn
You're everything that's fair in love and war
In love and war

Head over heels
Head over heels

In this life I'm stubborn to the core
In this life I've been burning after more
We both know what these open arms are for
You're everything that's fair

In this life you're my only one

Crazy

And it's crazy when love gets a hold of you
And it's crazy things that love will make you do
And it's crazy but it's true
You really don't know love at all
'Til it's making you do
Something crazy

This is the lyrics of one of my favorite songwriters of all time. And it is indeed true. When you are in love, you do lots of crazy things (like going for karaoke, when you swore to yourself you'd never sing to a television). I'm not in love, yet. But, I'm already seeing crazy things.

Maybe being crazy is humans unconscious response to indicate the capacity they can expand themselves to. You reading this, I bet you've done something crazy before. I know I have. And when I look back, yeah, it's crazy.

I've had my share of doing crazy stuff, and having people do mind-blowing crazy stuff for me too. I wish I could list it all here, but then the list would be too long. And we start to wonder where have all the sane people gone.

I think getting into 80's mode, that's crazy for me:)

A brush with politics

I've never been one to be very politically aware. I'm usually in the blur. I only know the few jargons that go around the politic circuit, and that's just about it. Tell me names of the notorious opposition leaders, I might have heard them. Name me some obscure political leaders, I'll go, "who that?"

I am finally of age to vote, and so happens, an election comes my way. In a way, I am thankful for the SPR to open a booth in my university way back then. It made registering to be a voter a lot easier.

March the 8th came, and I did my duty. I choose to believe that my one vote did count for something, even if it was just one.

of just like breakups but not it

It feels like a divorce, where I get to keep the kids (1,2,3,4 of them), the house, the cars, the pool, the sun-chairs by the pool, the pool table in the pool room, the dog, the china collection, the fridge, the 55" plasma tv, the harman/kardon Audio system, the whole works....and still feel empty...and virgin...

hehe. I didn't go through a breakup, not in the past 572 days, I think. This is just an analogy.

Cat Kill

WARNING! BLOG ENTRY CONTAINS ELEMENTS OF GORE AND VIOLENCE. VIEW AT OWN DISCRETION!

This time, it has become personal!

I try to be neutral, and peace-loving. But some *blip*-ing animal thought I was piss-loving and decided to pay my room a visit while I was outstation. And that *blip*-ing thing took a piss on my bed and pillow!

It stoinks so bad! I almost put my face on that pillow. Just as my head was about to land on it, I smelled something weird and caught myself before I got a dose of ammonia. Later on, I realized that it's the familiar smell on my front porch, where the *blip*-ing neighbors *blip*-ing cats always take a piss.

I knew theoretically, that cats are evil. My friends, who are anti-cats, have been 'preaching' the 'news' to destroy all cats (after they grow out of their kitten phase.as kittens, they still are cute). I never really bought their 'message'. I tried to give the felines a benefit of a doubt. I thought they were misunderstood creatures.

Today, all that is over! Not after they took advantage of my helpless bed and pillows. How they got into my house beats me, but their piss stains says it all...unless one of my house mates did it, which I try to doubt at all cost.

Call me cruel, but I have a personal vendetta against cats now. If I could, I would *blip* *blip* *blip* *blip* them, and let them die a slow painful death. WWJD don't work for this matter...





All cats that piss on beds should be like this.

Of passion and photography

I got my hands on my sister's Canon 400D DSLR and I've been toying with it ever since. I've been trying my hands out with photography. I don't know much, but it's been fun so far. Learning up the basics. I think I want to delve deeper into this art. It's gonna cost lots of money to get the accessories, but, my first target is to get a new set of lenses which will cost over more thank 1k.

Anyways, do check out my stuff at this site.

Your comments are greatly welcomed:)

On other news, I got a new 'mistress'. She's a beauty. It was a love at first sight experience. I got a 'wife' and another 'mistress' already, but I just couldn't help it. This one was a sure-looker and head turner. And does she sound sweet. She's got a sweet tone to match that curve;) She sings so beautifully.
Please meet Juliet (a.k.a. Harriet)



I will do her justice by trying to take better pics of her and load it up someday.

The longest...

This is probably the longest time I've been back in Melaka since I left her when I left for Cyberjaya. Actually, since I started working. As an MMU student, I've had the privilege of having a really long semester break, almost 2 months due to some timetable shifts. Since I started working more than a year ago, I've never been home more than 5 days. This time round, I got slightly more than a week.

Melaka, she's changed so much. The roads seem narrower, while the cars populate the streets like they were mass breeding. Can almost put it as an analogy of a clogged artery needing a bypass. Every's almost jammed during weekends. The prices are going up, food and transport. But still, Melaka, she's a beauty. Gracefully growing old.

To me, Melaka is my haven, my escape. In physical terms, she's refuge for the weary. Whenever I need time out from everything, I come here. Melaka's home. My family's here. And nothing like a good dose of family to put everything into perspective. I thank God that I still have Melaka, and my family. It helps to just get out of routine and be in that hideaway.

I purposedly choose to spend a longer time back here this time round, was mainly for my youngest sister. I realised she's all grown up, almost a teenager. I just became a teenager when she was born. Now, she's touching that phase in her life. It feels like only yesterday, when I could carry her around. Now, she's all grown up. It would look darn silly carrying her now....overgrown baby. I just want to catch her one more time, before she reaches that teenage stage where it's not cool to hang out with big brother anymore.*sighz*

But it's been good, while it lasted. Heading back to KL in a few hours time. My heart feels heavy everytime I think of packing up to head back 'home' in subang. And to hear my sister beg me to stay for at least one more day longer....

Advice from the dentist

It's been like 5 years since I stepped foot into a dental clinic for personal purposes. My job requires me to visit lots of dental clinics to promote my product, but it's different when you're the one under the drill.

After so many years, I felt it was time to go for my check-up. As I remember, I was there back in 2003. But after checking with the receptionist, she said I haven't been there since 1999. I think she forgot to record it.Her bad!

Anyhow, this dentist was the same guy I went to as a kid. He's grown slightly older since then, but alot more experienced. Being in the dental chair gives me the shivers. I remember the 5 *blip*ing years of wearing braces. The thought of being helpless in the chair while the dentist drills and pulls and yanks and twists and all that jazz, traumatizing!

I was expecting him to tell me that my tooth were rotten and I need feelings, I mean fillings. But nopes. He didn't. So that was a huge relief. Bottomline, I just had some measly tartar build up, and no, it's not the fish dip. Tartar is badd! It east away your gums. After awhile, you get receeding gums. Big words, but it just means you lose your gum flesh. This will make your teeth look longer. Cool eh? So you will look like some vampire for a bit. When it gets worse...I can't rememeber what happens...but I know that you have to replace them with gold studs and blings. But, you will definitely lose your teeth.

After some scaling, my smileys were good as new. Not much damage was done, but now I had to make sure I don't have to ever go scaling ever in my life. That's what the dentist dared me. In order for that to happen, I need to floss every *blip*ing day. Now, to floss for 28 days straight till it becomes a habit.

So, the lesson for the day (for those ignorant of dental hygiene, like myself) PLEASE Floss your teeth! And floss it correcly. Use proper techniques.

2008

I was planning to blog for some time, but time has eluded me so often. 2007 was a year of many things. I won't go into details, but it was a first for alot of things. Which I plan to elaborate in time. But for now, 2007 was a good year. A year of cut-offs and closings. Just in time to start 2008 fresh.

2008....I'm ready! (I know it's already February) Bring it on!