when life turns sour....

today......started bad......woke on the wrong side of bed.....wonder why i even woke up...........wished i'd slept till tonight......trying so hard to ignore the pain......like waking from a nightmare into another even wrose nightmare........slowly eating myself up from the inside....hope i never get to the point where i'm a walking shell with nothing inside.......wanna get my mind off things......argh......if i had the voice, i'd scream till the glass around me shatters......so tired.........why can't they see from my point of view.......why do i keep trying so hard to justify my actions......to explain myself......to make me more real than i already am........i'm dying trying.........

God, there's got to be a reason for all this.why? life is short.i don't want to waste it.but all this crap is eating the best of me.God i need help, i need strength.i need to cary on.......help me.....