Lunch today with you was awesome:) I knew you had forgotten. But I hope it did brighten your boring day:) Though picky with your shopping, you're a real 'funny' to be with. Never underestimate shops with small entrances. Sorry no present. It's been a great time of catching up, and catch up we did. Things would be a lot different without you:) Stay you:) Don't be such a pig;) and, you're not FAT! Gonna test out if sour stuff really makes you feel not bloated:)
The drive was serene, with lights to add to the scene. Such a magnificent view of our cyberscapes, the backyard of our space. Sorry that I was tired. Sorry that you hurt. Thanks for sharing the moment. Thanks for understanding. Thanks for being there. I wish I could offer more, but I'm Le'Tired. Your questions rips me open, I can't deny it anymore. Need to face my fears. The questions still play itself, like a broken record. You inspire, the missing person, the boy that had faith to move the mountains. Where is he now? It takes only one man, to change a generation.
Distracted, are you there? Phone rings, do you hear? Do you know? Feel? Are you? I wish I knew. I wish you knew. Still here. painfully waiting. for answers. wait. wait. wait. hope u feel :) hope u find what you are looking for. you're beautiful:)
You walk with your heart. Your heart has the capacity to move broken feet. Your moving feet moves hearts. What drives you? What keeps you going? You challenge me. You make me count my blessings. I pray you live a blessed life. With your determination, I'm inspired and moved. I still owe you lunch someday :)
Drift. How far have we gone our own ways. NOt much to lose sight, but enough for the heart to feel the absence. I miss you. You understood and you cared. thank you. I still care. We shall make that appointment soon alrite:)
I don't want to hate you but I do. You're in the way. So close, yet so far. Stop messing around. Your actions hurt. You don't understand. You never were in the picture. Why are you here now.
:)
Saturday, November 27, 2004
post-exams syndrome
*heart beats slowly*
I'm finally here, taking a breather from life. Ever since my exams started, I haven't had the chance to relax. I've been on the go, and on the go.
Monday and Tuesday were exam days for me. Really thank God that I found the 1st paper 'do-able'. I felt like I manage to nail the paper down satisfactorily. The next day's paper wasn't as 'yeah' as I thought it would be. Since it was the last paper for me, I really wanted to walk out the exam hall with a relieved cheer in my heart...but I was proven otherwise. All I felt was like...I could have done better. But it's all over, and I thank God that it was all better than I expected.
The funny thing, I ended my exams before some others even started. This trimester has been a real slow going time. My assignments ended bout 2 weeks before the study break, while some of my counterparts had to slog at their assignments till nearly the last day. That's something to thank God for.
H'anyways, I'm into this H'ok fever. If you wanna know about it, check this and this out. It's been my cheap source of entertainment throughout my study week and the examination.
Back to my life. After the exams, while most of my other friends were still in the midst of their exams, I was going places. I was visiting friends over lunch, or guy shopping sprees, or music practices and things like that. I manage to hang out with my Pakistani friend for quite a bit. It's been just great. He's going back to his 'motherland', and won't be back till...h'anyways, it is hotter than the armpits, in an oven, under this guy. When it is this hot, the t-shirt holds the sweat like the camel holds the water. (to understand this, click and see the links i gave u). okokok. Enough already. It's been great making friends with International students. Such a rich experience. Besides shopping with him, there was music practices that I had to go for, appointments to keep, games to play...bz bz bz!
Hopefully, tomorrow will be a rest day for me. Really need to catch up on my sleep. Really need to catch up on my dreams.
nitez
I'm finally here, taking a breather from life. Ever since my exams started, I haven't had the chance to relax. I've been on the go, and on the go.
Monday and Tuesday were exam days for me. Really thank God that I found the 1st paper 'do-able'. I felt like I manage to nail the paper down satisfactorily. The next day's paper wasn't as 'yeah' as I thought it would be. Since it was the last paper for me, I really wanted to walk out the exam hall with a relieved cheer in my heart...but I was proven otherwise. All I felt was like...I could have done better. But it's all over, and I thank God that it was all better than I expected.
The funny thing, I ended my exams before some others even started. This trimester has been a real slow going time. My assignments ended bout 2 weeks before the study break, while some of my counterparts had to slog at their assignments till nearly the last day. That's something to thank God for.
H'anyways, I'm into this H'ok fever. If you wanna know about it, check this and this out. It's been my cheap source of entertainment throughout my study week and the examination.
Back to my life. After the exams, while most of my other friends were still in the midst of their exams, I was going places. I was visiting friends over lunch, or guy shopping sprees, or music practices and things like that. I manage to hang out with my Pakistani friend for quite a bit. It's been just great. He's going back to his 'motherland', and won't be back till...h'anyways, it is hotter than the armpits, in an oven, under this guy. When it is this hot, the t-shirt holds the sweat like the camel holds the water. (to understand this, click and see the links i gave u). okokok. Enough already. It's been great making friends with International students. Such a rich experience. Besides shopping with him, there was music practices that I had to go for, appointments to keep, games to play...bz bz bz!
Hopefully, tomorrow will be a rest day for me. Really need to catch up on my sleep. Really need to catch up on my dreams.
nitez
Monday, November 22, 2004
you won't...
My final exams starts today. Yet, I still feel no pressure. I wonder why? Could it be peace? I don't know. But taking a breather for now in the wee hours of the morning.
You won't understand joy
Till you experienced pain
You won't understand freedom
Till you've worn the chains
You won't taste the sweetness of victory
Till you swallowed the bitterness of defeat
You won't be strong
Till you've been weak
You won't understand patience
Till you've learnt to wait
You won't cling on to faith
Till you lose your doubts
So much's been going on the past few days of the last week. I ask why are somethings just happening all over and over again. Too bogged down to be strong.
Thanks for believing in me.
You won't understand joy
Till you experienced pain
You won't understand freedom
Till you've worn the chains
You won't taste the sweetness of victory
Till you swallowed the bitterness of defeat
You won't be strong
Till you've been weak
You won't understand patience
Till you've learnt to wait
You won't cling on to faith
Till you lose your doubts
So much's been going on the past few days of the last week. I ask why are somethings just happening all over and over again. Too bogged down to be strong.
Thanks for believing in me.
Friday, November 19, 2004
grace covers me
Getting out of this game
No room left for pain
Time to heal
And restoration begin
I beg not to pass this way again
Lest history becomes my path
I seek peace
I must find it
Mercy travels alone
And picks friends on the way
I shall follow it
Grace be my cover
No room left for pain
Time to heal
And restoration begin
I beg not to pass this way again
Lest history becomes my path
I seek peace
I must find it
Mercy travels alone
And picks friends on the way
I shall follow it
Grace be my cover
Thursday, November 18, 2004
points to pound-er
Points I pondered:
1)What is the role of the computer?
Somehow, our cyber culture has molded a mojority of us to be a pc-dependant society. It's a good thing in one sense, but it has some drawbacks. Met some of my friends studying in IMU over the weekend, and all of them can hardly stare at the pc for more than 30 mins. Here I am; The first thing I do when I wake : Stare at the pc. Then After coming back from class : stare at the pc. In between breaks of free time : stare at the pc. Playing computer games : duh! stare at the pc. Before I sleep : Stare at the pc. Everything revolves around a pc. I find it weird that my other friends prefer to sms instead of using yahoo to communicate (yahoo's free, if you don't consider the breadband bill). freaks! anyways, the downside is that we always communicate through the pc, even if we're 1 meter apart. How slack can this get? We kinda lose a lil bit of our social skills. Some people are so happening online...but in real life, they're so quiet. WE live in a pseudo world. All said and done, the pc still rocks coz we don't need a separate Hi-Fi or television or radio or even go to the movie...though i still do that occasionally. We have it all in the pc, that's if you have your aLtec and your 19inch monitor and a fine graphic and sound card...blah blah blah!
2)Keep your friends close, your enemies even closer
Hmmmm....with enemies like those, who needs friends? but the guy who quoted this sure had a point. respect*
*sucks*
wish i could say more, but time is not permitting me to yack more here...and besides, I'm getting busy with keeping my enemies even closer...*dang*
1)What is the role of the computer?
Somehow, our cyber culture has molded a mojority of us to be a pc-dependant society. It's a good thing in one sense, but it has some drawbacks. Met some of my friends studying in IMU over the weekend, and all of them can hardly stare at the pc for more than 30 mins. Here I am; The first thing I do when I wake : Stare at the pc. Then After coming back from class : stare at the pc. In between breaks of free time : stare at the pc. Playing computer games : duh! stare at the pc. Before I sleep : Stare at the pc. Everything revolves around a pc. I find it weird that my other friends prefer to sms instead of using yahoo to communicate (yahoo's free, if you don't consider the breadband bill). freaks! anyways, the downside is that we always communicate through the pc, even if we're 1 meter apart. How slack can this get? We kinda lose a lil bit of our social skills. Some people are so happening online...but in real life, they're so quiet. WE live in a pseudo world. All said and done, the pc still rocks coz we don't need a separate Hi-Fi or television or radio or even go to the movie...though i still do that occasionally. We have it all in the pc, that's if you have your aLtec and your 19inch monitor and a fine graphic and sound card...blah blah blah!
2)Keep your friends close, your enemies even closer
Hmmmm....with enemies like those, who needs friends? but the guy who quoted this sure had a point. respect*
*sucks*
wish i could say more, but time is not permitting me to yack more here...and besides, I'm getting busy with keeping my enemies even closer...*dang*
oh crum!
sighz"
The last time i checked, I had 20 days before my first paper. Now, it's less than 5 days!! Whoah! Time sure flies:P and sad to say, in between those days, i hardly touched my books. Let me recall, went for movies and shopping and outings and back home to Melaka. Yeah was back there. Didn't have much time for myself. Had to do some visitings and outings. But it was fun, jsut wished that I had studied more:p
The clock is ticking, so better start work again. Still thinking of the solid and awesome food back home....sighz...
The last time i checked, I had 20 days before my first paper. Now, it's less than 5 days!! Whoah! Time sure flies:P and sad to say, in between those days, i hardly touched my books. Let me recall, went for movies and shopping and outings and back home to Melaka. Yeah was back there. Didn't have much time for myself. Had to do some visitings and outings. But it was fun, jsut wished that I had studied more:p
The clock is ticking, so better start work again. Still thinking of the solid and awesome food back home....sighz...
Saturday, November 13, 2004
betrayed
*stoned*
Not stoned because I drank or took drugs. But stoned because I've heard bad news. Sometimes, when you hear something tragic, your body and mind just goes numb. For a moment, you just don't feel anything. The magnitude of the matter is slowly setting in. As it sinks, your mind kicks in again, and you start to feel. I'm in that phase, and the sinking in is taking a lil longer than expected. Embracing myself for the full blast of emotions that will course through my soul in a short while. Just waiting. Feeling betrayed. Trust broken.
God, I need Your grace to carry me through this. I need Your grace to go on. I can't do this on my own. So misunderstood. When the crowd only hears what they want to. When they don't really know what's happening. Carry me. When I'm wrongly judged. When accused falsely. When what I believe fails me. When I'm disillusioned. Weak
Not stoned because I drank or took drugs. But stoned because I've heard bad news. Sometimes, when you hear something tragic, your body and mind just goes numb. For a moment, you just don't feel anything. The magnitude of the matter is slowly setting in. As it sinks, your mind kicks in again, and you start to feel. I'm in that phase, and the sinking in is taking a lil longer than expected. Embracing myself for the full blast of emotions that will course through my soul in a short while. Just waiting. Feeling betrayed. Trust broken.
God, I need Your grace to carry me through this. I need Your grace to go on. I can't do this on my own. So misunderstood. When the crowd only hears what they want to. When they don't really know what's happening. Carry me. When I'm wrongly judged. When accused falsely. When what I believe fails me. When I'm disillusioned. Weak
Sunday, November 07, 2004
24 hours
imagine : a visit home that was less than 24 hours!
I decided to go home to Melaka on SAturday morning. I left Cyberjaya at 6am after little sleep, reached Melaka soil about 8 am, and by 7 am the following day, I departed my much missed home. *hectic* funny...i reached Acts on Sunday just in time to see ppl streaming out the entrance:p I was that late back. truthfully, I had to send a friend back to IMU. Checked out his house and met his housemates. kewl! thinking of bunking there in the coming weekends:p
it's been such an 'emo' week. somehow, so many others are feeling 'emo' as well. is it a phase?
well, i've had my share of emo. gotta run. always busy busy busy.
I decided to go home to Melaka on SAturday morning. I left Cyberjaya at 6am after little sleep, reached Melaka soil about 8 am, and by 7 am the following day, I departed my much missed home. *hectic* funny...i reached Acts on Sunday just in time to see ppl streaming out the entrance:p I was that late back. truthfully, I had to send a friend back to IMU. Checked out his house and met his housemates. kewl! thinking of bunking there in the coming weekends:p
it's been such an 'emo' week. somehow, so many others are feeling 'emo' as well. is it a phase?
well, i've had my share of emo. gotta run. always busy busy busy.
Monday, November 01, 2004
* BIG *
Really claiming to the words of this song:
*Big*
Planet Shakers
Planet Shakers
My God is big
So strong so mighty
My God's plan for me
My God's plan for me
Goes beyond my wildest dreams
My God is good
My God is good
He's so good to me
He's my God and He is my refuge
He's the rock on which I stand
He's my fortressGod, He is my life
He holds the oceans in his hand
There's nothing my God cannot do
Just got back from AYA 9th Anniversary Dinner. This finally concludes my 3 days of non-stop action. Superbly tired.
Friday-Mid-Valley Megamall. Just wanted to unwind. So went shopping. You know what happens when guys go shopping with girls...sigh...didn't buy much...just a guitar book and 3 air-plane models. Enjoyed the company:) Thanks Mel, Charis, Kae Ee. Bumped into Beckyz, Celine and Audrey...and a few others:P
Saturday-Woh Fatt guitar shop. Went to look for guitar cases with Nicky, Lenard and Kae Ee. walk around KL, music shop after music shop. Didn't buy anything except guitart strings in the end. At nite, 1st visit ever to DUMC! Reminds me so much of FGA KL. It was a new experience:) thanks Auds.
Sunday-Church@ SUmmit was awesome. Can u believe i actually wanted to skip church due to tiredness. I thank God i didn't. It was a great message. Learnt about Truth and Grace, how they should go hand in hand:) How there is Power in Grace!
Today, as I sat in the dinner, i was moved and challenged once again as I saw the accomplishments of AYA in just this one year since the last anniversary dinnerHow God has moved through AYA. AYA has managed to expand so much more, and all Glory goes to God! AYA is going all out to meet the needs of a 'tribe' called the young people. I want my life to be one filled with testimonies. I want to live my life for a higher purpose than just myself. I want to be used mightily by God. A gentle reminder, life is not just about me!
Dear God,
I'm weak. I'm falling. I see You moving. And I want in on that! But I'm trembling. My vision shaking. If you can use anything, use me too! I don't want to miss out.
Un-fill me of my self, and fill me with You. One life to live, and i don't wanna waste it. Change my heart. I need You. The world needs You...and I can bring that message to them. There is nothing You cannot do. Help me see beyond my struggles at the bigger picture. You've blessed me too much to be depressed. Help me make the best of it. You've paid too much for me to waste it away. I need You.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
BFV 9667
Today ended my mid-term tests:) 2 subjects this trimester, with 3 mid-term papers. The last 2 papers were yesterday and today. Some moments of freedom at last...but what's the use? I got an assignment due Monday. There goes my 'holiday' :p
Really thankful to God for seeing me through both papers pretty well. Manage to answer more than half...an achievement for me. Today's paper was a maths paper. It was OK i guess. Towards the end, I got a lil rushed and overconfident. And I messed up one tiny section. Realised my mistake only after I went out the hall. Mien!! I wanted to kick my own ass so badly! I was careless...!!! Just when I thought I could get 20 out of 20 for this paper...there it goes!
After CF, had supper then back home. Had a deep online talk with a friend. Unravelled some sensitive issues. Kinda make me wanna just burst out with an argument...but I had to swallow my pride as I heard her out and tried to be open to opinions. I had to look at myself and see the mistakes I make. Lord, teach me to be like You. After that talk...feeling drained and deep in thought...I got a phone call telling me that my car (which I loaned to Mich) couldn't be moved out of the parking lot because some inconsiderate driver had parked their car directly behind mine. So, Mich and Nicky had been waiting for bout an hour for the owner to repark the car before they called me.
I went over...using Rach's car. Took out my hammer and made a nice big hole in the glass window of the driver's side. I relished the sound as glass met metal and within the split second, tiny bits of crystalized liquid flew everywhere. One piece grazed my cheek. It stung, but it excited me. Seeing glass everywhere, i put my hand in the newly made hole, and released the hand brake. I watched it silently as it rolled forward, like a lumbering beatle, out of my car's path...and into the rear of the car in front of it. As the sound of metal against metal reached my ear, i thought to myself....serve it rite.
Haha! those didn't happen. I wish la. No! Just my imagination running wild. Something inside me told to suppres my anger against this inconsiderate doink. I breathed alot to keep myself calm. Left my car there, with a sweet note on the screen of the offending car. We took Rach's car back instead.
So much for loving one another and to forgive...still in the learning process.
Really thankful to God for seeing me through both papers pretty well. Manage to answer more than half...an achievement for me. Today's paper was a maths paper. It was OK i guess. Towards the end, I got a lil rushed and overconfident. And I messed up one tiny section. Realised my mistake only after I went out the hall. Mien!! I wanted to kick my own ass so badly! I was careless...!!! Just when I thought I could get 20 out of 20 for this paper...there it goes!
After CF, had supper then back home. Had a deep online talk with a friend. Unravelled some sensitive issues. Kinda make me wanna just burst out with an argument...but I had to swallow my pride as I heard her out and tried to be open to opinions. I had to look at myself and see the mistakes I make. Lord, teach me to be like You. After that talk...feeling drained and deep in thought...I got a phone call telling me that my car (which I loaned to Mich) couldn't be moved out of the parking lot because some inconsiderate driver had parked their car directly behind mine. So, Mich and Nicky had been waiting for bout an hour for the owner to repark the car before they called me.
I went over...using Rach's car. Took out my hammer and made a nice big hole in the glass window of the driver's side. I relished the sound as glass met metal and within the split second, tiny bits of crystalized liquid flew everywhere. One piece grazed my cheek. It stung, but it excited me. Seeing glass everywhere, i put my hand in the newly made hole, and released the hand brake. I watched it silently as it rolled forward, like a lumbering beatle, out of my car's path...and into the rear of the car in front of it. As the sound of metal against metal reached my ear, i thought to myself....serve it rite.
Haha! those didn't happen. I wish la. No! Just my imagination running wild. Something inside me told to suppres my anger against this inconsiderate doink. I breathed alot to keep myself calm. Left my car there, with a sweet note on the screen of the offending car. We took Rach's car back instead.
So much for loving one another and to forgive...still in the learning process.
Monday, October 25, 2004
team-kill-ed
God says to forgive...but it's just so hard sometimes:P
That's besides the point. My pathetic friend has got me really pi**ed. Sad to say, he's also my future rubber-band member. What to do? If only i had scratched his brand new Ibanez Sound Gear 5-stringed bass guitar when i had the chance *develish grin*. That should teach him a lesson.
The basis for my displeasure is that this punk 'team-killed' me twice. What the crap man! The first time was in a nipple-fight (believe it!). The second was in a birthday bash...which was yesterday.
Sighz. Wait till I get him and show him some 'loving'. Can't wait for his birthday...then he'll wish he was never born, Muahaha!
Anyways, this is just a stress buster. Got a test tonite and tomoro nite as well. back to work.
That's besides the point. My pathetic friend has got me really pi**ed. Sad to say, he's also my future rubber-band member. What to do? If only i had scratched his brand new Ibanez Sound Gear 5-stringed bass guitar when i had the chance *develish grin*. That should teach him a lesson.
The basis for my displeasure is that this punk 'team-killed' me twice. What the crap man! The first time was in a nipple-fight (believe it!). The second was in a birthday bash...which was yesterday.
Sighz. Wait till I get him and show him some 'loving'. Can't wait for his birthday...then he'll wish he was never born, Muahaha!
Anyways, this is just a stress buster. Got a test tonite and tomoro nite as well. back to work.
wrestled the angel, for more than a name
I want to wrestle You and find answers
Answers to questions that I have yet to form
Time is constantly ticking
And my life in this Uni is reaching an end
This battleground would be useless if i have learnt nothing of it
I'm wasting away and I know it
I won't let go of this grip, even if I have a limp to my walk
It would be worth it
For I have wrestled You and sought the divine
Give me strength to not give up
Give me passion to carry on
Give me courage to endure
Give me You that I seek
Answers to questions that I have yet to form
Time is constantly ticking
And my life in this Uni is reaching an end
This battleground would be useless if i have learnt nothing of it
I'm wasting away and I know it
I won't let go of this grip, even if I have a limp to my walk
It would be worth it
For I have wrestled You and sought the divine
Give me strength to not give up
Give me passion to carry on
Give me courage to endure
Give me You that I seek
Thursday, October 21, 2004
5 letter 'S' word
'Sorry' doesn't mean anything if it is just a word
'Sorry' achieves nothing is it is without a basis
There are days when 'Sorry' flows freely
There are days it gets scarce
The closer the tie
The deeper the cut
The deeper the bond
The higher the hopes
In a world chasing riches and fame
'Sorry' is but a phase
There are those that see
There are those that don't
For those who see, they fill a need
For those who don't......
'Sorry' achieves nothing is it is without a basis
There are days when 'Sorry' flows freely
There are days it gets scarce
The closer the tie
The deeper the cut
The deeper the bond
The higher the hopes
In a world chasing riches and fame
'Sorry' is but a phase
There are those that see
There are those that don't
For those who see, they fill a need
For those who don't......
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
see through me
Just back from CF. Had Pastor Joanne from Melaka with us today. She brought a team of punks : Justin, Joash and Soly. Good to see them:) Somehow, I thank God that the relationship between some of the uni students from Cyber and Melaka are pretty good. We did a personality test during the meeting. I had done this test earlier this year, and the results i got was:
>> expected me : SI
>> real me : SI
Both the results were pretty much equal. For those in the blur, there are basically 4 types of personality : D - Dominant, I - Influential, S - Steady, C - Conscientious. For most people, they would have a primary character type personality, followed by a secondary type personality.
Well, this time round, the results i got was :
>> expected me : SI
>> real me : IS
Somehow, I've evolved from an S type person to an I type person. It's a normality that people's personality change from time to time, depending on the situation they are in when they take the test. Someone told me that most probabably the I in me just emerged recently. As the surroundings and situations change, the personality is possible to face corrections as well. So here I am, and I for now:)
Off late, I've been wondering if people have been talking right thru me. It's not that I'm really affected by it, but more of curious as to how translucent I am. Sometimes, I can be in a conversation with them, before they bolt off into another conversation with someone else, while the current conversation with me is halfway through. And I'm left there stunned! It's happened a few times by different people and it leaves me wondering whether is it just me, or the people around me who have a problem. Am I that boring that I dull their already stagnant thoughts and cause them to take flight the first opening of interest comes their way? I really don't know. And the people facing this malfunction are people who are close to me. I just don't get it. Sometimes, you just have to wonder....
>> expected me : SI
>> real me : SI
Both the results were pretty much equal. For those in the blur, there are basically 4 types of personality : D - Dominant, I - Influential, S - Steady, C - Conscientious. For most people, they would have a primary character type personality, followed by a secondary type personality.
Well, this time round, the results i got was :
>> expected me : SI
>> real me : IS
Somehow, I've evolved from an S type person to an I type person. It's a normality that people's personality change from time to time, depending on the situation they are in when they take the test. Someone told me that most probabably the I in me just emerged recently. As the surroundings and situations change, the personality is possible to face corrections as well. So here I am, and I for now:)
Off late, I've been wondering if people have been talking right thru me. It's not that I'm really affected by it, but more of curious as to how translucent I am. Sometimes, I can be in a conversation with them, before they bolt off into another conversation with someone else, while the current conversation with me is halfway through. And I'm left there stunned! It's happened a few times by different people and it leaves me wondering whether is it just me, or the people around me who have a problem. Am I that boring that I dull their already stagnant thoughts and cause them to take flight the first opening of interest comes their way? I really don't know. And the people facing this malfunction are people who are close to me. I just don't get it. Sometimes, you just have to wonder....
Thursday, October 14, 2004
blackout
There was a terrible blackout here in Cyberia last nite. So far, it's the first in history of Cyberia...well, maybe for a nite case. Over the years, Cyberia has faced quick power outages, but the restoration was almost immediate. so we never had to feel the pinch of living without electricity. there was one afternoon when the power went out for a couple of hours, but i wasn't affected that much...was out for class. BUt last nite, as i was just chilling, the power went out...and it stayed out for a good few hours. simultaneously, the population of cyberia went into uncontrolled frenzy. some were shouting like monkeys, some were wailing, some were cheering, some were doing dunno what! but it was a madhouse about half an hour. never did understand why the rush of craziness. but the sounds of humans went on for some time. fortunately for the residents of every other block except A3, the power came back just as soon as it left. unfortunately for the residents of A3, the in-house power generatoer was allegedly down. some said they saw smoke billowing out of the TNB room below. i saw smoke still lingering outside.
The good thing about blackouts, it somehow brings people together. when i got back home, i was surprised to see everyone, all huddled together in the center of my hall, jsut talking and joking around. no longer stuck to their pcs, they were free to joke and talk around. you don't really see much of this these days.they discussed what they could play together to pass time, or whether supper somewhere out in town was a good idea. i was tired and all i wanted to do, was just lie in the darkness and let the serene atmosphere (most ppl had shut up after the power came back, and those who had not, had been shot dead by the guards for disturbing the peace of the babies). i lay on my bed, and i was thankful that the air was cool. Without a fan, i still had good sleep till this morning. thank God:)
I don't really know why in the world i'm typing this, but maybe i just wanted to write...boring man.
The good thing about blackouts, it somehow brings people together. when i got back home, i was surprised to see everyone, all huddled together in the center of my hall, jsut talking and joking around. no longer stuck to their pcs, they were free to joke and talk around. you don't really see much of this these days.they discussed what they could play together to pass time, or whether supper somewhere out in town was a good idea. i was tired and all i wanted to do, was just lie in the darkness and let the serene atmosphere (most ppl had shut up after the power came back, and those who had not, had been shot dead by the guards for disturbing the peace of the babies). i lay on my bed, and i was thankful that the air was cool. Without a fan, i still had good sleep till this morning. thank God:)
I don't really know why in the world i'm typing this, but maybe i just wanted to write...boring man.
Monday, October 11, 2004
Mental Constipation
Mental Constipation : a common occurance of mental blackouts when facing a stress related situation. the subject has been deeply studied and revised, and yet, when the proper time for its usage has come, your mind just goes blank. the fact is, you have stuffed your brains with the much needed facts and information, yet, the constipation of the mind disallows any dissemintaion of the salient facts. such occurance are common during exam and test periods. till today, no cure is available for this rare but sudden disease. experts believe that going outdoors for a brisk walk and enjoying the view of nature will help the contstipated mind be at ease again. however, in most cases, the bearer of the mind will find sudden relief of this condition once they step out of the exam hall. by then, it is too late.
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
no greater love
as i'm typing this...a 2 hour lecture is going on. well, woke up on the only side of bed, late. so there goes my class. anyways, partly my fault. i watched I,Robot to pass the time last nite...only to be interrupted to watch Fahrenheit 9/11...which was also interrupted by sleep...to then be interrupted by a visit to the Putrajaya Hospital...whoever you are...i hope u're ok:P stop vomitting ok! it's gross:P
continued my I,Robot movie till bout 6am.it's a really cool show. and it gaved me the chills. what if really one day the world has robots walking as one of us? what if one day, we have to befriend them, what if they take us over? it's something to think about.
anyways, i've been wanting to post up my last weekends experience watching the Passion of the Christ. yeah, i'm late watching it. but so what! watched it at One Utama with Evelin. all this while i had the movie in my pc, but haven't watched it yet. it's a cinema screener version. a few months ago, during my hols, Jason came over to my house and we were thinking of watching it...we felt like watching a kewl movie. after one minute into the show, we just decided we weren't ready to watch it:( coz from last weekends, experience, it's not a casual movie that u jsut watch u pass time.
anyways, i did prepare myself to watch it, after hearing all kinds of reports from others who've watched it before. it's like a bible story coming to life. i was moved by what i saw. it may just be a movie, but it was depicted very well. and i couldn't take it when i saw Jesus flogged, my eye's burst. every flogging he got, i knew He did it for me. i watched as they accused Him, they taunted Him, but the Son of God never retaliated. He took the blame and the shame, for me. He endured it all, for me, so that i might have eternal life. i imagine that someone else who had gotten that kinda of flogging, would probably have died even as he tried to carry the cross and do a cross country all the way to the mountain. seriously,come to think of it, dying on the cross isn't so glamarous and simple as alot of artist put it in their paintings. it never crossed my mind, that the journey from where Jesus was flogged to where He was crucified was such a long and distant one. i never imagined He was soo bloodied and broken as He carried the sins of the world to the mountain. i never thought that He had to go through so much just to be crucified. to be honest, i tot that He was escorted like a VIP all the way to the cross and they carefully nailed Him in. but now, when i see it, as i write this, i'm grateful that He endured all that, to purchase my freedom and salvation. as though being flogged to bits, till, there's hardly skin left, wasn't bad enough, He had to carry His heavy cross. it's like running a race, or more of walking the race. His destination, Mount Golgotha. I feel that an ordinary person who had just been whipped like there's no tomoro, and having to carry such a heavy piece of wood, being taunted and whacked along the way, would have died carrying the cross. imagine, if i was the one, i would probably died of exhaustion, on the road. right there. I believe Jesus, though God, was human at the same time and He must have felt whatever a human feels. that's said so in the Bible. He must have wanted to give up and succumb to the pain and the fatigue. but He didn't! imagine, if He had given up on the road and died there instead of going all the way and dying on the cross, we would be evangelising to other's that : Jesus died on the road along the way to save you and i ! imagine how that would sound like? but i'm so grateful that He went all the way, each painful step, with me on His mind. with you on His mind. no greater sacrifice! as He was nailed..His hands and His feet...as He hung there, taking the blame of every sin in the world on Himself, when He was so innocently pure...He thought about you and i. God's master plan for our redemption! Love manifested!
somehow, this movie has brought alot of things into perspective in my life. whatever i've gone through, Jesus has endured a whole lot more. He was rejected, He was accused, He was beaten, He was denied, He was betrayed, He was crucified...yet He did no sin.
here i am, rethinking my life, what He has purchased me for...am i really that worth it? Each time i think of the bloodied face of my King, the blood that should have been mine...i'm ever so grateful that my heart sings praise and gives worship. i was redeemed for so much more, than just sit here and do nothing.
if i was there witnessing Jesus falling with the cross on Him, i would have carried it for Him all the way, or at least helped Him to. but i wasn't born then. and it challenges me to carry my cross now, though not a physical one. as i carry it, i know i can do it, coz someone has gone before me to show that it can be done. thank you Jesus.
continued my I,Robot movie till bout 6am.it's a really cool show. and it gaved me the chills. what if really one day the world has robots walking as one of us? what if one day, we have to befriend them, what if they take us over? it's something to think about.
anyways, i've been wanting to post up my last weekends experience watching the Passion of the Christ. yeah, i'm late watching it. but so what! watched it at One Utama with Evelin. all this while i had the movie in my pc, but haven't watched it yet. it's a cinema screener version. a few months ago, during my hols, Jason came over to my house and we were thinking of watching it...we felt like watching a kewl movie. after one minute into the show, we just decided we weren't ready to watch it:( coz from last weekends, experience, it's not a casual movie that u jsut watch u pass time.
anyways, i did prepare myself to watch it, after hearing all kinds of reports from others who've watched it before. it's like a bible story coming to life. i was moved by what i saw. it may just be a movie, but it was depicted very well. and i couldn't take it when i saw Jesus flogged, my eye's burst. every flogging he got, i knew He did it for me. i watched as they accused Him, they taunted Him, but the Son of God never retaliated. He took the blame and the shame, for me. He endured it all, for me, so that i might have eternal life. i imagine that someone else who had gotten that kinda of flogging, would probably have died even as he tried to carry the cross and do a cross country all the way to the mountain. seriously,come to think of it, dying on the cross isn't so glamarous and simple as alot of artist put it in their paintings. it never crossed my mind, that the journey from where Jesus was flogged to where He was crucified was such a long and distant one. i never imagined He was soo bloodied and broken as He carried the sins of the world to the mountain. i never thought that He had to go through so much just to be crucified. to be honest, i tot that He was escorted like a VIP all the way to the cross and they carefully nailed Him in. but now, when i see it, as i write this, i'm grateful that He endured all that, to purchase my freedom and salvation. as though being flogged to bits, till, there's hardly skin left, wasn't bad enough, He had to carry His heavy cross. it's like running a race, or more of walking the race. His destination, Mount Golgotha. I feel that an ordinary person who had just been whipped like there's no tomoro, and having to carry such a heavy piece of wood, being taunted and whacked along the way, would have died carrying the cross. imagine, if i was the one, i would probably died of exhaustion, on the road. right there. I believe Jesus, though God, was human at the same time and He must have felt whatever a human feels. that's said so in the Bible. He must have wanted to give up and succumb to the pain and the fatigue. but He didn't! imagine, if He had given up on the road and died there instead of going all the way and dying on the cross, we would be evangelising to other's that : Jesus died on the road along the way to save you and i ! imagine how that would sound like? but i'm so grateful that He went all the way, each painful step, with me on His mind. with you on His mind. no greater sacrifice! as He was nailed..His hands and His feet...as He hung there, taking the blame of every sin in the world on Himself, when He was so innocently pure...He thought about you and i. God's master plan for our redemption! Love manifested!
somehow, this movie has brought alot of things into perspective in my life. whatever i've gone through, Jesus has endured a whole lot more. He was rejected, He was accused, He was beaten, He was denied, He was betrayed, He was crucified...yet He did no sin.
here i am, rethinking my life, what He has purchased me for...am i really that worth it? Each time i think of the bloodied face of my King, the blood that should have been mine...i'm ever so grateful that my heart sings praise and gives worship. i was redeemed for so much more, than just sit here and do nothing.
if i was there witnessing Jesus falling with the cross on Him, i would have carried it for Him all the way, or at least helped Him to. but i wasn't born then. and it challenges me to carry my cross now, though not a physical one. as i carry it, i know i can do it, coz someone has gone before me to show that it can be done. thank you Jesus.
Friday, October 01, 2004
nobody knows what it's like to be the bat-man
nobody likes to be the bad guy
sometimes u just are the bad guy
and u never know why
a crime happens
and you're obvlious to what's happening
next thing, the gun's in your hand
and you wonder how u became the offender
you try hard to live right
but at the end, you're misunderstood
and you wonder, is it worth the fight
you give your best
but you fall short
u wonder, should you have even tried
innocence is lost
just by a speck of guilt
simplicity looses it's substance
when you add an extra unknown
but you still keep trying
you don't give up
i'm sorry for being the bad guy...
never wanted this job
but sometimes, it happens
and here i am with the gun...
innocently guilty
sometimes u just are the bad guy
and u never know why
a crime happens
and you're obvlious to what's happening
next thing, the gun's in your hand
and you wonder how u became the offender
you try hard to live right
but at the end, you're misunderstood
and you wonder, is it worth the fight
you give your best
but you fall short
u wonder, should you have even tried
innocence is lost
just by a speck of guilt
simplicity looses it's substance
when you add an extra unknown
but you still keep trying
you don't give up
i'm sorry for being the bad guy...
never wanted this job
but sometimes, it happens
and here i am with the gun...
innocently guilty
Monday, September 27, 2004
all dressed up and nowhere to go
all dressed up and no where to go...
just completed my supp exam paper. thank God i could do it. now i leave the results to the hands of God...i've done my part, and my best.
felt like shouting out, like, "Yeah! it's over". realised i would be shouting alone...everyone has already experienced this feeling ages ago. since the semester started one week ago, i've been preparing for this paper while my housemates are free to indulge in their games, my other friends, gone out shopping and to outings and to movies...me...stuck here. but what to do?
feel relieved that at least it's over. now i can get on with my life...the life of constant study for this coming semester. every semester it's liek the same...i set my goals high...but always fall short of it. but i'll still keep aiming high...i won't give up...go all the way with it...my best...even if fail trying.
so much i want to do...i've just been let out of prison...standing in the front entrance, bidding my cell mates goodbye. holding my bag of clothes, the only property i owned during the dark days...i tip my hat to the sun, good to see you again...i take in a breath of fresh air, my lungs the state of a bursting balloon.the world is before me...a second chance...it's good to be free...
just completed my supp exam paper. thank God i could do it. now i leave the results to the hands of God...i've done my part, and my best.
felt like shouting out, like, "Yeah! it's over". realised i would be shouting alone...everyone has already experienced this feeling ages ago. since the semester started one week ago, i've been preparing for this paper while my housemates are free to indulge in their games, my other friends, gone out shopping and to outings and to movies...me...stuck here. but what to do?
feel relieved that at least it's over. now i can get on with my life...the life of constant study for this coming semester. every semester it's liek the same...i set my goals high...but always fall short of it. but i'll still keep aiming high...i won't give up...go all the way with it...my best...even if fail trying.
so much i want to do...i've just been let out of prison...standing in the front entrance, bidding my cell mates goodbye. holding my bag of clothes, the only property i owned during the dark days...i tip my hat to the sun, good to see you again...i take in a breath of fresh air, my lungs the state of a bursting balloon.the world is before me...a second chance...it's good to be free...
Saturday, September 25, 2004
read
some writers just stick on you. some people dig Tom Clancy, some Stephen King, some John Grisham,some JRR Tolkien, some CS Lewis, some Sidney Sheldon, some Danielle Steel (or was it Steele), and a whole list of other writers, including God. yeah, He wrote the BestSeller:)
anyways, i've finally found one that i've really enjoyed his masterpieces. was in the library yesterday, supposedly studying, and i stumbled upon 2 novels by John Irving. yeah, that's the punk who wrote The World According to Garp, and it's been a good read. well, i borrowed those other 2 books : A Widow for One Year and A Prayer for Owen Meany. the gist of the story written on the backpages really got me wanting to read it immediately. unfortunately, my test wouldn't be questioning me on who's who by John Irving. sighz! so much for literature.
anyways, i'm looking forward to a long good read after my exams:)
some authors are too technical, some too abstract, some too serious and boring, but some has the soup at just the right temperature. that's John Irving for me;) challengingly creative and sardonically funny.
if you stop reading, you stop learning
read for your future
read for your kids
-this message is a community service message-
anyways, i've finally found one that i've really enjoyed his masterpieces. was in the library yesterday, supposedly studying, and i stumbled upon 2 novels by John Irving. yeah, that's the punk who wrote The World According to Garp, and it's been a good read. well, i borrowed those other 2 books : A Widow for One Year and A Prayer for Owen Meany. the gist of the story written on the backpages really got me wanting to read it immediately. unfortunately, my test wouldn't be questioning me on who's who by John Irving. sighz! so much for literature.
anyways, i'm looking forward to a long good read after my exams:)
some authors are too technical, some too abstract, some too serious and boring, but some has the soup at just the right temperature. that's John Irving for me;) challengingly creative and sardonically funny.
if you stop reading, you stop learning
read for your future
read for your kids
-this message is a community service message-
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
